


put a ring on it

by TripsH



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Growing Up Together, M/M, Pining, a bunch of sappy romance bc that's who i am, it's been 84 years, there's one conceptual? spoiler for something more recent in haikyuu because that's all I know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TripsH/pseuds/TripsH
Summary: Together, forever.It’s a promise that starts with Oikawa shoving a cheap, plastic toy ring into Iwaizumi’s hand at the playground when they’re six years old.Over the years, together, forever grows into much more than a promise between kids and two plastic rings could have ever foretold.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 54
Kudos: 306





	put a ring on it

**Author's Note:**

> Someone: what’s a soulmate?  
> Me, crying while gesturing wildly at Oikawa and Iwaizumi: _THEM_
> 
> In all seriousness, hi! It’s been… quite a while since I have touched this account, let alone any fandom in general (I took a pretty long and unexpected hiatus for real life and mental health purposes…) BUT! I was going through some of my old wips while being stuck at home and when I found this one, I really just sort of fell back into it wholeheartedly and couldn’t stop. I started writing this fic in 2014, so it’s something that’s nearly six years in the making. 
> 
> I haven’t read or watched haikyuu since 2015, so considering I know very very little of what has happened in canon/the timeline since then, the canon divergence tag has now become my best friend. The only spoilery thing I’m aware of (thanks to a friend who sometimes still keeps up with haikyuu who knows I love Oikawa lol) is that Oikawa plays pro in Argentina now, so although I know zero details surrounding that, I tried to take that concept, incorporate it into my original plans from back in the day and run with it in my own way. It’s always been a personal favorite headcanon of mine that Oikawa would go pro after playing in college, so it ended up meshing with my original ideas and plans pretty well. 
> 
> This fic means a lot to me because it is and was always meant to be my love letter to iwaoi since I started it in 2014, but also more so now because I have not written fic or anything really, since 2018. Potentially, this and my writing are very rusty and raw as a result, but it came straight from the heart, and when you have feelings you gotta get it done. I’m so so grateful that this got me writing when at times I was honestly a bit afraid I never would again when I’d get down on myself.
> 
> So… that’s enough rambling for now. I haven't been this nervous to post fic in a long time, but it’s good to be back! I hope y’all enjoy this and that everyone is staying safe and healthy! <3

There are a lot of things Iwaizumi doesn’t expect to happen to him, and ninety percent of those things are directly related to Oikawa Tooru, his best friend for his entire six years of life.

“Hey, Iwa-chan!”

When you’re best friends with Oikawa, and have spent your whole life together, you learn to expect the unexpected, though. It’s never, ever boring being his friend, at least.

But even that doesn’t prepare him for Oikawa calling out his name as he runs over to him at the park right near their houses where Iwaizumi had been hard at work building a sand castle that Oikawa accidentally plants his foot in and wrecks in his excitement to reach Iwaizumi.

“Here.” Before Iwaizumi can react, or even say anything at all, Oikawa shoves something into his hand, stands there in front of him waiting, expectant.

Like he’s supposed to know what to do with _this._

“Iwa-chan, I’m waiting,” Oikawa singsongs, drawing out the simple phrase in a completely annoying way that irritates Iwaizumi even more.

“What’s this for?” He brushes his hands off, and looks down at what Oikawa had given him. It’s a ring, plastic, a bright blue with a weird looking figure on it—one of those toys you could get out of the machines at the store.

“I thought you were smarter than that, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa looks disappointed now that he can’t just expectantly wait for whatever he thinks Iwaizumi should do with the ring and has to explain it instead.

“You can’t just shove a ring in someone’s hand and expect them to know what to do, stupid!” He stands so he’s face-to-face with Oikawa instead of having to look up at him. “What do you want?”

Oikawa sighs, dramatic, as usual, like he expects Iwaizumi to be able to read his mind with no context. “You’re _supposed_ to give a ring to the person you want to be together forever with, Iwa-chan.” He says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, like Iwaizumi is stupid for not realizing right away.

The slight twinge of anger he felt melts away, then. “Wait, so you’re giving it to me?” He doesn’t really understand the warm feeling that washes over him, just that it’s there and it feels kind of, sort of nice to think that they’ll be together forever.

“No,” Oikawa says and the feeling is gone as quickly as it appeared. “I want you to give it to me.”

He’s joking. He has to be joking.

 _But he’s not_. Oikawa is completely serious, tapping his foot expectantly as he waits for Iwaizumi to do what he wants. “Well?”

“You seriously bought a ring for me to give to you?”

It’s unconventional at best, ridiculous at worst. But then again, most things with Oikawa Tooru are—never easy, never conventional, always a wild ride he can’t seem to get off of.

But it’s one he doesn’t want to get off of.

Oikawa sighs, rests his hands on his hips as he leans in closer to Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan, we’ve seen this on TV before, remember? When two people want to be together forever, they’re supposed to get married. And _someone_ has to do the asking, you know!”

Iwaizumi may not be an expert on the subject of marriage proposals, isn’t that familiar with them except for what he’s seen on TV, but he’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to shove a ring into someone’s hand and wait expectantly for them to propose to you. Only bratty six year old Oikawa would do something like that and think it’s fine.

So Iwaizumi shoves the ring back into his hand. “You can ask, then! It’s your idea! And besides, who says I want to marry you?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Oikawa looks mildly offended, and Iwaizumi has to hold back a laugh at his puffed out cheeks. “We’ve been friends forever, anyway. Aren’t we going to stay together?”

Then, the idea seems like a possibility, something he wouldn’t mind at all. Because he’s known Oikawa since they were babies, can’t remember a time when they weren’t by each other’s sides. Oikawa is a constant presence, one he’s grown used to and welcomes and enjoys being around no matter how annoying he can get. It’s only natural to assume they’ll be this way in the future.

Forever isn’t something six year old kids think about, though. Not in the sense that this promise signifies, at least. The idea of marrying Oikawa is a little strange, weird, but if it means staying together, Iwaizumi doesn’t think he minds it.

So he sighs and takes the ring back from Oikawa, takes his hand in his own and slides the ring on his finger. “There. Happy?”

Oikawa, as always, isn’t satisfied. “No, that’s wrong, Iwa-chan. You have to ask! You can’t just put the ring on and have that be it!”

Iwaizumi frowns, getting a little annoyed with all of Oikawa’s demands surrounding what should be a simple act—everything they’ve ever seen on TV makes it seem simple, easy, over and done. “Fine. Will you marry me?”

The smile on Oikawa’s face widens with the words, and he finally looks satisfied, happy. “Yes.”

Then, when he slides the ring onto Oikawa’s finger and ends the proposal with a question to make it ‘official’ it’s just a silly, impulsive decision made by two kids, two best friends who say they want to stay together forever.

If you had told six year old Iwaizumi Hajime how much weight that little plastic ring would carry, how important it and all of the promises _together, forever_ would imply and later cement, he probably wouldn’t have believed a single word, wouldn’t have bought into the idea that a simple piece of plastic and the promise that accompanied it could grow into so much more for them. 

( _But it does._ It becomes so much more than that.) 

Once the proposal is done to Oikawa’s liking, Iwaizumi lets go of his hand, resting his own at his sides. But then he realizes something, a step Oikawa had forgotten.

“Wait a minute, if you get a ring, don’t I get one too?”

**.**

**.**

**.**

There’s a store nearby, directly down the street, and technically, they’re not supposed to leave the park—their parents have told them they’re old enough to play there without supervision since it's right by their houses, but they have to stay there.

But there’s no one watching, no way anyone will _know_ they broke that rule, and they’ve broken plenty of rules together before, so they find themselves walking to the store together, on a kind of high alert, like it will be the end if they get caught.

 _“It’ll be like we’re spies,”_ Oikawa had said with a toothy grin. _“And our mission is to get the ring and go back home before anyone knows.”_

As silly as it is, it’s a fun idea, and he finds himself agreeing with Oikawa’s comparison. Breaking the rules is something typical, anyway. Oikawa likes to test boundaries, always has, and this is just another rule to add to the list they’ve already broken, another stunt they’ve pulled to test the boundaries set before them.

In a way, it’s exhilarating. There’s never a dull moment with Oikawa, that’s for sure. That’s what Iwaizumi enjoys about being friends with him. Because yeah, Oikawa can be a total brat and whine a lot and get really annoying, but no matter what, they enjoy each other’s company. They enjoy having the familiar presence from early childhood onward, hope it will never go away.

Contrary to popular belief among classmates that maybe they don’t really like each other, maybe it’s just a tolerance and a strained friendship, their friendship is everything but that. This is just how they’ve always been.

This is probably how they’ll always be—side by side, best friends, together.

 _Forever_ , as Oikawa had put it. 

It’s definitely something Iwaizumi doesn’t think he’ll mind.

Suddenly, Oikawa grabs his arm and pulls him to a stop. “We’re here, Iwa-chan. Ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s hurry and get back before we get caught.”

Oikawa nods, and soon enough they’re in front of the toy dispensing machine outside of the store. Lucky for them, one time they’d found some spare money in a couch cushion at Oikawa’s house and buried it at the park for safekeeping, so they dug it up for this occasion. Oikawa puts in the money and turns the knob, and soon they hear the clatter of the little plastic container hitting the metal of the dispenser.

Iwaizumi picks it up and opens it, finding a green ring resting in his palm. He doesn’t pay much attention to the details of it, and is about to put it on his finger and grab Oikawa’s hand, dragging him home before they push their luck any further and get caught.

But before he can, he looks up and sees Oikawa frozen in place with wide eyes, just _staring_ at the ring in Iwaizumi’s palm. “What? Is something wrong?”

“I want that one!”

He doesn’t get it at first, doesn’t understand why that ring— _his_ ring—is so special that Oikawa just has to insist on taking it for himself. “Why?”

Without a word, Oikawa grabs his hand, just points at the ring like Iwaizumi is supposed to automatically know what he’s thinking without him needing to say it. Oikawa is weird and has the strangest habits and most ridiculous thoughts, but Iwaizumi is used to them by now, can usually figure out what messages Oikawa is trying to convey without much effort. But this one is lost on him—he doesn’t understand. 

Until he looks at the ring for the first time—really looks at it. It’s a bright green, like he originally noticed, but upon looking closer, he sees a tiny figure on it. An alien.

Suddenly everything makes sense—Oikawa’s wide eyes, his insistence to have that ring. It’s because there’s an alien on it, and Oikawa never ceases to remind Iwaizumi just how much he loves aliens.

“Can I have it?” Oikawa finally asks, still holding his hand tightly. “Please, Iwa-chan?”

“You already have a ring! This one is mine!”

Oikawa immediately pouts. “Can’t we trade?”

“It’s not the same, though.” Iwaizumi pulls his hand away, slides the ring on his finger and heads toward home, knowing Oikawa will follow.

“Is so!” Oikawa is at his side, grabbing onto his arm, close enough where Iwaizumi can hear his whines loud and clear. “Please Iwa-chan, I have to have that one!”

In that moment, he’s almost tempted to give in, to say yes and trade rings and have that be that. Sometimes, it’s easier to indulge his idiot best friend than it is to listen to whining.

(Also, he doesn’t particularly like seeing Oikawa upset, hates seeing him sad or crying or even pouting.)

“You already have a ring, it’s not the same if I give you mine.”

Oikawa sighs and lets go of Iwaizumi’s arm, shoulders slumping in disappointment as he falls out of step with him the slightest bit. “So mean, Iwa-chan…”

It seems like he’s accepted it. The pout and dejected look say otherwise, but Iwaizumi ignores it.

The whole walk back passes in silence. Well, almost silence. Every so often, Oikawa sighs dramatically, as if to draw attention to the fact that he didn’t get the ring he wanted.

 _Brat_.

But despite the thought, Iwaizumi stops so suddenly back at the park that Oikawa almost slams into him. “Iwa-chan?”

He pulls the ring off his finger and holds it out for Oikawa to take. “Here. We’ll trade.”

Oikawa seems taken aback, which is kind of ridiculous since he’s the one who has been whining about trading. “You mean it?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t offer.”

Oikawa takes the ring, studies it for moment, a bright smile on his lips, before he pulls off his own ring—his original ring—and hands it to Iwaizumi. Seconds later, the trade is complete, their new rings on their fingers, a perfect fit.

Iwaizumi looks up from the blue ring situated on his finger, and is about to say that they should go, but before he has time to process it, Oikawa hugs him tightly. Iwaizumi’s face feels warm—not the same sticky warmth from being out in the summer heat, though. This is different, a kind of warmth that starts in his chest, a combination of embarrassment and fondness—as he settles his arms around Oikawa’s waist.

“Thank you, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa is so close when he pulls back from the embrace, doesn’t move to pull away either.

“I just didn’t want to listen to you whine anymore,” Iwaizumi says offhandedly, averting his gaze. Really, he hates seeing Oikawa sad, refuses to be the one who causes that sadness. Besides, he doesn’t even like aliens that much anyway…

Oikawa smiles, one that says he can see right through Iwaizumi’s words and knows exactly why Iwaizumi gave in. But before he can say anything about that, Iwaizumi nudges his shoulder, gentle.

“Come on, we should go home… before our parents wonder where we are.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Their hands find each other’s on the walk home, now fitted with rings, a new type promise in their minds, their hearts. A promise to stay together, remain by each other’s sides, to always be there. A promise that seems unbreakable.

* * *

But things change. That’s unsurprising, really—everything changes and develops with time and growth and age. It’s no different with them, really. As they get older they outgrow wearing the rings that once occupied their fingers every day, something of the past that isn’t practical to do every day when they’re older.

It’s something that comes with growing up, Iwaizumi tells himself with a shrug as he watches the girls in their class surround Oikawa’s desk, squealing and fawning while the object of their affection laughs and smiles.

(But it’s not a real smile, Iwaizumi notices. It’s one that’s more forced, similar to the other smiles that have been forced throughout their second year of junior high. The smile doesn’t quite reach Oikawa’s eyes, is nothing like the happy and real smile that was so often on his face in childhood.)

Things are different now. That much is obvious.

But… that doesn’t mean that the promise from before has to change. They’ll always be together, won’t they?

Iwaizumi really can’t imagine a life where Oikawa Tooru is not his best friend, where Oikawa hasn't always been by his side.

That’s _not_ going to change.

So he hangs onto the ring, even when they’ve stopped wearing them, even when it seems like a forgotten moment, long in the past and sitting untouched, collecting dust over time. It’s tucked away safely in his room, the sentimental value behind keeping it unwilling to fade, even if Oikawa no longer has his.

Even if there is some chance that Oikawa has forgotten that promise—which Iwaizumi doubts he did, but anything is possible, after all—that doesn’t mean he has to. Maybe a promise that was originally an impulsive decision of childhood doesn’t hold the same weight it did back then—one of marriage and a promise to stay together forever, things that completely change meaning in the transition from childhood to adolescence. But regardless, it still holds the weight of staying together.

Things change, he reminds himself. Things always change.

He doesn’t realize then both how wrong and right he is, doesn’t realize that the meaning of the promise exchanged on that hot summer day when they were only six can stay the same while all the feelings they share for each other completely shift.

Things change, like the pound of his heart in his chest, ready to break through the protection of his ribcage and leap right out into the open, right onto his sleeve, bared for anyone to see, for _Oikawa_ to see if he was looking, _if only_ he was looking. Things change, but he’s still got the ring from when they were six sitting on his bookshelf in his room. And if that’s not a sign that some things never change, then what is? They could have drifted apart over the years, but…

Well, that’s getting a bit ahead of himself. _Pause_. _Rewind_. Bring it back to when things were simpler – before he’d admitted to himself that he’s been pining after his best friend on the entire fucking planet for a long time. Longer than he’d like to admit. Details. _Whaaatever_.

Then again, as much as he says he wants to go back, he knows he doesn’t want to. Knows he doesn’t mind standing on this line between nothing and everything, friendship and more, because if going back meant erasing how he feels, changing the course of it all, he doesn’t think he’d want to.

Really, he knows he never could. He’s too far gone to ever take it back. 

But, those sentiments aside, the story of exactly how Iwaizumi Hajime’s feelings and heart decide to fuck him over to what he believes will be nothing more than a life of painful longing and unspoken feelings in all matters starting and ending with Oikawa Tooru happens like so:

**.**

**.**

**.**

****

“You alright?” He kneels in front of the bench in the locker room, making sure he’s level with Oikawa, who had been looking down at his knees, fingers clenched tightly in the fabric of his pants.

Oikawa doesn’t make a move to respond, not even a nod of his head, and Iwaizumi sighs softly, nudging his friend’s leg gently. “Hey…”

They’re the last ones in the locker room, left alone by the rest of their team after the match, the _loss_ to Shiratorizawa. They came close, but not close enough, and Oikawa obviously isn’t taking the loss well.

“Tooru, come on… let’s go home.” He reaches for Oikawa’s hands, takes hold of them and uncurls his tightly clenched fingers, allowing Oikawa’s grip to relax.

Oikawa finally looks at him, finally acknowledges his presence with a soft hum.

But Iwaizumi almost wishes Oikawa didn’t lock eyes with him. Almost, because he’s never seen such a look on his face. One of sadness and defeat, anger and disappointment.

His initial thought is to do whatever he can, _anything_ , to make sure he never sees that look again, to fend those types of thoughts and emotions off.

Changes come with age, although one thing that’s never changed is how much Iwaizumi hates seeing Oikawa upset and hurt. He hates seeing the usual happy, somewhat annoying but also endearing, looks on Oikawa’s face wiped away so quickly, like they never existed in the first place. He hates seeing the beginnings of tears in his eyes, fists clenched tightly after losses, the look of fear on Oikawa’s face when he dwells and dwells on not being good enough, on not being able to win when it matters most.

For just a second, his thoughts flick to their childhood, to when Oikawa was sad or hurt, tears rolling down his cheeks, crying loudly. Sometimes, Iwaizumi would press a kiss to wherever Oikawa was hurting, to stop him from crying, to make him feel better. Suddenly, he has the same overwhelming urge to do that, to lean down and wrap his arms around Oikawa, pulling him into a tight embrace and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead—like that’s enough to take the pain away, like when they were kids and it could and would be that simple. 

_Wait—_

He can’t explain the sudden tightness in his chest, the way words fail him when they usually don’t. For a moment, it’s as if a simple, innocent thought has thrown the whole world off balance and there is no fixing it. Words catch in his throat right then and there, whatever he had thought he could say to pull Oikawa out of this state completely lost on him because of the way his thoughts had wandered.

There’s no way. No way that’s what’s happening. Not now. _Why now?_

In the end, it’s Oikawa who ends up speaking first. “Iwa-chan?”

“Hmm?” is all he manages to get out, still slightly thrown by not only the look from before but also the overwhelming feeling that accompanied seeing it, the sudden sense of clarity that washed over him, opening a whole new door, a flooding rush of feelings.

The idea that he maybe, probably, just might feel something stronger than friendship for Oikawa is unexpected at first, in the sudden spur of the moment realization at a really inopportune time. After all, this is the same annoying kid who insisted aliens were real and would jump on Iwaizumi’s back because he was too tired to walk on his own after long days spent playing outside.

But Oikawa’s also so, so much more than that. He’s the same kid Iwaizumi’s known forever. His best friend who has been by his side through everything. 

He’s always been the one Iwaizumi can’t imagine his life without. 

Oikawa’s next words are quiet, but there’s an unwavering determination in his eyes when he pulls his hands away from Iwaizumi’s and stands, ready to go home. “I’ll get better. I promise I’ll get better so next year we’ll win…”

There are a lot of things Iwaizumi can say to that: _you don’t have to_ ; _you’re good enough_ ; _it’ll all come together for us_ ; _next time_ _we’ll win_. All are possible, but he says none, only murmurs a simple “Okay.”

They don’t speak about it after that, and head home. Everything seems calm, it seems like this is isolated, an event that won’t be spoken of again and this is the last of it.

That couldn’t be more of a lie.

The quiet, the lingering silence on their walk home is almost unwelcome because it gives Iwaizumi time to think, to dwell on the realization that he just came to in the locker room.

But he doesn’t want to think about that, doesn’t want to think of what it means or why or how or when this even happened.

So he denies it, tells himself a very simple, yet firm declaration that he is not in love with Oikawa. He is not in love with his best friend.

Thing is, he can claim he’s not, but he definitely is. The overwhelming clarity of it all, the sudden realization is something he can’t push away, something that once seen, cannot be forgotten. And it’s almost like it’s the greatest truth of the universe was revealed to him and maybe, just maybe the whole world stopped turning in that one instant because it all falls into place, an explanation placed to something he hasn’t been able to describe before.

And this is a major problem.

* * *

The next few months are characterized by extra practice, staying late in gyms, Oikawa’s frustration growing and growing, especially with the arrival of a new player in their third year. A genius. Kageyama Tobio.

Kageyama’s arrival is not the catalyst; instead, it’s the final straw, the one card placed wrong in a house of them that causes the whole structure to start breaking down. The already shifting reality started by continuous, successive losses to Shiratorizawa is pushed along further with Kageyama’s arrival and the impact it has on Oikawa. Now, everything is a furious rush—to get better, to do better, to see results—but there’s fear too. Maybe it’s not visible to everyone else, but Iwaizumi can see it, can see the look in Oikawa’s eyes that betrays exactly how he’s feeling—if his actions did not make it clear enough already.

For the first time ever, Iwaizumi feels helpless, like no matter what he says or does Oikawa won’t listen. This isn’t the same as times they’d fight in the past, when they were kids and problems could be fixed much, much more easily. Now, it seems like there’s no fixing it, and despite all of the assurances and insistence that Oikawa is fine how he is, they are stuck at this point, in this endless cycle perpetuated by loss and insecurities.

The few months of this are hard, painful even. Iwaizumi hates seeing Oikawa like this, hates that he’s seemingly unable to do anything.

Some would give up. _It would be easy to give up._

But he doesn’t. He can’t imagine ever walking away or leaving Oikawa’s side.

“Five more minutes, okay?”

Oikawa frowns, looking back at him from where he had been about to serve, but he doesn’t argue, knowing from the look in Iwaizumi’s eyes that it’s a battle not worth having, not when they’ve had it so often lately. “Okay.”

So Iwaizumi leans against the wall of the gym, waiting for Oikawa to finish up, but watches closely to make sure there’s no problem, no injury he can notice as a result of Oikawa overworking himself so much lately.

His thoughts wander—like they often do in moments like this—back to the revelation he made near the end of their second year when they had lost to Shiratorizawa, the realization that his feelings for Oikawa run a lot deeper than the friendship they’ve always had.

Initially, he’d tried to deny it, passing it off as a fluke, nothing more than a stupid teenage crush driven by emotion and sentimentality. Back then, he tried to place facts to it: hows, whens, and whys. But thinking on it more, he realizes that there’s no way to define this feeling as something like that.

There really isn’t a “when” that he can place. The sudden realization in the locker room isn’t a when, it’s just the moment it all clicked into place, the moment the thought hit him over the head and _would not go away_.

But even then, he can’t pinpoint a specific moment. Thinking of all their time spent together, he could say that he fell in love the first time they were allowed to camp outside in Oikawa’s backyard, looking up at the stars until they were lulled to sleep, Oikawa gripping his hand tightly; when they had exchanged plastic rings at age six, a promise of forever, in their hearts and minds; when they were ten and snuck up on the roof of Oikawa’s house late one night without their parents’ knowledge, and Oikawa’s eyes were full of happiness, light, as he pointed out constellations in the stars that he had learned about in a book his mother bought him; when they were thirteen and played their first match of junior high together as starters, smiling at each other and hands slapping together in a high five the moment after Iwaizumi scored the winning point off of Oikawa’s toss.

It could have been any of those moments, he decides. 

But it isn’t.

There is no “when” because it’s a buildup of years together, by each other’s sides. No _one_ moment can be picked out among the rest because there are so many moments they’ve shared, that they’ve built their whole lives upon.

He’s always loved Oikawa, whether it’s been as his best friend or now, more than that. Iwaizumi knows that now. Just like he can’t remember the first time he’d met Oikawa because they’d been way too young, he can’t remember when any of his feelings had started to shift to what they are now. Maybe for a while they’d been tucked away, but always there, until he finally had the ‘aha’ moment to put words to the emotion—what he had once thought of as only friendship or fondness that has shifted to an overwhelming feeling of love. A feeling that isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

But he’s not going to act on it. Not when there is the possibility of ruining the bond they’ve already built. Even if they only ever remain friends, so long as Oikawa is happy then Iwaizumi is too.

(If Oikawa knew of that, of the sentiment Iwaizumi holds, he’d probably laugh and make some quip about Iwaizumi’s supposed ‘martyrdom’ by giving up his own happiness for the sake of his friend’s.)

But those are thoughts for another day, he decides as he pushes himself off the wall and moves to Oikawa’s side, resting his hand on his back. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Oikawa looks at him, and even though they’d settled it earlier, it seems like he wants to protest. “We have a practice match next week. I have to be ready.”

Iwaizumi sighs. “That’s not going to matter if you hurt yourself now, dumbass.” He gives Oikawa a gentle shove. “We’ll clean up and then get your stuff. We’re leaving.”

They finally leave the gym and head toward home. Oikawa has been uncharacteristically silent ever since Iwaizumi took him by the hand and basically dragged him out of the gym.

It’s strange… the silence, he means. Usually Oikawa fills any silence with chatter about anything and everything, even the most mundane things that happened that day. And Iwaizumi always listens and adds in his thoughts—as if he hadn’t known about whatever it is Oikawa is speaking of even though he probably already does due to them spending most of their days together.

Even when there is silence between them, it’s usually a comfortable, easy-going one. Not like the heavy and uncomfortable silence that overcomes them tonight.

Oikawa looks tired, like he could fall asleep right then and there if he wanted to. It’s worrisome, seeing him like that, seeing the usual bright and happy presence so down like this.

“You’re squeezing my hand really tightly, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa finally murmurs, falling into step with Iwaizumi.

“Oh…” He hadn’t even realized he’d been squeezing Oikawa’s hand, forgot that he’d never let go of his hand in the first place. Iwaizumi looks away, hoping it’s too dark to see the slight blush that is sure to be on his cheeks. “Sorry…”

Their hands drop to their sides when he lets go. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that maybe, just maybe by the look on Oikawa’s face that he doesn’t like the loss of contact.

Yeah, right. That’s only wishful thinking.

Silence overcomes them again, but maybe it’s not as heavy as before. It’s got this weird sense of awkwardness, though, and that isn’t typical of them. Almost like neither of them want to be the first to break it.

It stretches longer than Iwaizumi realizes because before he knows it, they’ve reached Oikawa’s house. This is where they’d normally say their goodbyes until the next day, and Iwaizumi would head across the street to his own house. But today, for whatever reason, they both seem a little hesitant to go their separate ways.

“Um, well… it’s kind of late. Guess I should go. I’ll see you…”

Oikawa’s fingers curl around his hand before he can fully turn away. “Iwa-chan…” He starts, but pauses for a moment, like he’s uncertain of what he had been wanting to say, but finishes with, “Are you mad at me?”

Is that what he thinks? That that’s what all the silence and awkwardness to accompany the arguing they’ve been doing lately means? That couldn’t be further from the truth.

He sighs. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t like how you’re acting about this, and I wish you’d stop.”

The frown on Oikawa’s lips, and the way he looks to the ground shows that’s apparently too much to ask for. Of course. “I can’t. If I do, then…” He trails off like he doesn’t want to hear the words, like saying them aloud will make whatever he’s afraid of even more real.

With a sigh, Iwaizumi squeezes his hand. “Don’t worry so much. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah…” It doesn’t sound like Oikawa believes it, which is frustrating. How do you make someone see that? How is he supposed to make Oikawa understand that this wasn’t doing any good, wasn’t helping him at all? What is he supposed to do?

This is the first time Iwaizumi’s ever felt like he can’t get through to Oikawa no matter what he says or does, like he won’t reach him at all. It’s terrifying, almost, to feel so out of his element with someone who has never once made him feel that way.

“So we’re okay, then?” Oikawa asks, another way of checking to see if things are still alright between them.

Iwaizumi realizes that Oikawa’s still holding his hand, and squeezes it. “Yes. Don’t worry about that, okay?”

“Okay. Do you… do you want to stay over?”

He nods. “Yeah… yeah, I’d like to.”

* * *

“You still have this?” Even though Iwaizumi’s been in Oikawa’s room countless times, he’s never noticed the green plastic ring from when they were kids sitting on Oikawa’s desk. Almost like it hadn’t been there before and had been taken out recently from where it had been before. Or he just never noticed it. Maybe he hadn’t been looking. Maybe…

The look Oikawa shoots his way is strange, a mix of surprise and confusion at the question, along with annoyance. Like it’s a ridiculous suggestion to think he wouldn’t have it still. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t know… Didn’t expect you to be so sentimental, I guess.”

They both know that’s a lie, the first excuse that had popped into his mind for asking about it. Iwaizumi knows Oikawa can see right through him, can see his heart.

Well, except for the one secret he’s kept concealed. And if he doesn’t shut up soon, that may end up being something that isn’t so secret anymore.

But he is pretty good at keeping his mouth shut and his heart in check, even if he slips up sometimes. And over time, that fluttery, tight feeling in his chest? Well, it doesn’t go away, but he lives with it like a new addition to his life. It’s normal, something he constantly grapples with.

Even though he’s accepted it, grown used to it over the past few months doesn’t mean it gets any damn easier to hold back. In fact, it gets more and more difficult as time goes on.

“Do you still have yours?” Oikawa asks, kicking his legs out as he sits down on the bed. The question’s phrased like casual conversation, genuine curiosity, and Iwaizumi doesn’t try to read into it any more than that.

He nods. “Yeah, of course I do.”

“So it’s okay for you to keep yours, but you expected me to throw mine out? Makes sense. Have some more faith in me, Iwa-chan.”

“I didn’t mean you threw it out. I just haven’t seen it before and was surprised. That’s all.”

“Maybe I had it out because I was looking at it. Ever think of that?”

Iwaizumi groans, pushing Oikawa’s shoulder. Still, even with what’s likely a joke, his heart still betrays him and starts to race. “Okay, okay. It was a dumb question. Go to sleep.”

“Now you think you can tell me what to do in my own room.” But Oikawa yawns, probably too tired to protest what Iwaizumi’s saying. “You know what I think? I think you’re too selfless for your own good. You should think about yourself for once too.”

“Yeah, okay.” The dig makes him roll his eyes. He’s sure Oikawa’s teasing, trying to goad him into more bickering before they go to bed. “We can have that argument another day when you’re not exhausted from spending all night practicing.”

Oikawa laughs quietly and pokes Iwaizumi’s cheek and for a second it feels like everything is okay, normal again. “Maybe.” He doesn’t say any more after that, but grabs Iwaizumi’s hand, squeezes it gently.

The contact between them is over so quickly, Iwaizumi thinks he imagined it for a moment.

But it’s nothing new. Oikawa’s always been touchy, they’ve _both_ always been touchy. That’s just how things are, what they’re used to. It’s nothing special. Nothing lost, nothing gained.

“Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” Iwaizumi whispers back, settling down to sleep.

Somehow, maybe (definitely) against Iwaizumi’s better judgement, they end up sleeping in the same bed. Iwaizumi doesn’t have the heart to insist otherwise and fight about sleeping arrangements like they usually will when they have sleepovers—the whole back and forth of who gets the bed; the _“I’ll sleep on the floor with you if you don’t take it,”_ argument that occurs no matter whose house they’re at or how old they are.

Honestly, he doesn’t really even care that it’s not exactly comfortable since they’re kind of big for this and Oikawa tends to be a bed hog, which makes sleeping in a bed together not the most enjoyable experience. Even when they were kids it was a pain. But that doesn’t really matter. Not now, anyway.

Oikawa rolls over and is soon sleeping, the exhaustion finally overcoming him and welcoming in sleep quickly.

Sleep doesn’t find Iwaizumi that easily. His hand is still warm from Oikawa’s touch moments before, and he finds himself thinking about the whole situation.

Something has to change, this needs to end. He doesn’t want to watch this anymore, can’t stand seeing Oikawa break, crack, self-destruct.

He doesn’t know how long it is before he rolls over, eyes falling on Oikawa. For once, the idiot’s not sleeping in a jumbled mess, is probably too exhausted to fall into normal wild sleeping habits. For once, he looks peaceful, calm, the complete opposite of everything he’s been feeling inside lately.

Without even thinking about it, he raises his hand, gently brushing Oikawa’s bangs from his forehead. “You’re an idiot, you know that? A complete and utter idiot.”

(He imagines if he were awake, Oikawa would whine back, saying how mean and cruel it is for Iwaizumi to say something so nasty about his best friend.)

But that’s not what he hears. All there is in the dark room is silence, only Oikawa’s soft breathing. Honestly, he’s getting sick of that—all the silence, tense and heavy and awkward that’s wormed its way into corners of their lives like it never has before. So Iwaizumi fills it with a somewhat shaky whisper, one he almost doesn’t recognize.

“I wish you’d tell me what you’re thinking… I wish you could see what I see.”

_I wish you’d let me in._

_Please let me in._

He’ll never stop fighting, though. Won’t quit until he does reach Oikawa and pull him back to somewhere stable, somewhere safe.

“You’re not alone, and you’re not gonna be alone. So you don’t have to work like this. You don’t have to worry so much and put so much pressure on yourself.”

It’s funny that he can say all of this, pour all of his feelings out when Oikawa is sleeping and unable to hear them. In a way, it’s kind of frustrating, because usually Iwaizumi is straightforward and honest and doesn’t have to hide any of his thoughts from Oikawa. But now it’s hard to get them out and make Oikawa listen to them. Maybe it’s because he’s afraid of Oikawa not listening… of refusing to believe things that Iwaizumi has always believed to be true.

Maybe it’s because he’s afraid of saying how he really feels, what he really thinks and that will make things worse. Like it’ll change everything for the worse.

The familiar feeling of hesitation overtakes him once more, and he pauses for a moment when he had reached his hand to brush against Oikawa’s cheek. But… but he’s already said enough, and if he’s being honest? Well, if he’s being honest, he might as well go all out. His fingers brush against Oikawa’s cheek, barely there, but enough. The touch lingers a moment longer than it should, probably, but the silence filled with only his quiet voice and Oikawa’s soft breathing makes him brave. A lot braver than he’s been thus far.

“You’re enough. You’ve always been enough,” he breathes out. “Even if you don’t think so, even if you don’t feel it, you are. And no matter what happens, you’ll always be enough for me.”

And even though he knows Oikawa can’t hear a word he’s saying, he still says what he needs to anyway. Maybe it’s just a way to give himself some peace of mind, maybe it’s because these are things he’s kept pent up inside for so long and never explicitly said. Implied, yes, but said? No.

Maybe someday, he _will_ be braver, will say these things when Oikawa can hear him, will say everything that’s in his heart directly to Oikawa’s face. But that time isn’t right now. Maybe someday, but not today.

“‘m not gonna quit until you see it too, okay?” he mumbles, as sleep finally starts to overtake him too, like a tiny weight has been lifted off the constant pressure, the constant squeeze of the hold on his heart. But there’s hope too, hope that something will change. That they can make it change. “I’m with you no matter what, Tooru.”

The future’s constantly changing, impacted by choices and actions and reactions. They can make it whatever they want it to be, and there’s still a chance to change the course of the way things are set right now.

* * *

A week later, it finally seems like things really _will_ change. After the incident with Kageyama, after everything that had been building up for months until it finally erupted. After Oikawa finally seemed to see reason and snap out of that state of mind that he had to get better and work so much harder in order to not be surpassed and even achieve victory against a team like Shiratorizawa in the first place. Things finally feel calmer, like they’ve settled.

Like everything is normal again.

(Maybe that’s the wrong way to put it, though. Maybe a better thing to say would be that things have returned to how they were, but now Oikawa realizes something he didn’t before.)

For the first time in a while, when they leave the gym to walk home together, things don’t feel heavy or uncomfortable. They’re steady again, feet back on stable, solid ground and they’ve got a familiar, welcomed presence at their sides, hands right in reach should they choose to grab them.

Everything is okay.

But Iwaizumi pauses when he notices Oikawa hesitate—an almost unnoticeable pause, one most eyes except his own would miss—and turns so they’re face-to-face. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” It doesn’t sound forced or fake. Oikawa sounds genuine, like he means it, and Iwaizumi believes him.

Still, there’s a nagging fear in the back of his mind, one that’s been at the forefront for so long that it’s not so easy to simply push away now. “Please don’t tell me that after all that you want to go back in there.”

(He should have known better than that, though. Oikawa said he felt invincible, meant it. Together, they _are._ )

“Hajime.”

“What is it? Tooru, what’s—”

But Oikawa doesn’t say anything in response, even though it seems like he wanted to. Instead, he throws his arms around Iwaizumi, hugs him tightly.

Iwaizumi laughs at the sudden embrace, hoping maybe it will drown out the sound of his heart hammering in his ears, and hugs Oikawa back. “What’s this for?”

“You know,” Oikawa mutters, close to his ear.

It’s not meant in a _“don’t make me say it,”_ begrudging type of way. This is a quiet concession, a simple acknowledgment without putting all the words out there.

Still, Oikawa says, “Thanks. For telling me I’m not alone. For… for everything.”

“‘course. I’ve always got your back.” _Even if no one else does_. “It’s you and me, right?”

When they pull apart, Oikawa’s smiling at him, not teasing or mischievous, but soft, maybe a little shy, and looking at him like there’s nothing else in the world there, just the two of them right here, on the same wavelength and plane of existence, and that’s all that matters.

In one single moment, it feels like he’s been laid bare, like his heart can take him anywhere he wants to go unless it betrays him.

“Yeah.” Oikawa nods, his fingers brushing against Iwaizumi’s hand, curling around his own fingers like a link not meant to be broken. “It’s you and me.”

Maybe it’s what Oikawa had said earlier rubbing off on him—contagious words, contagious state of mind: _all of a sudden, I feel invincible_ —but right now, it feels like nothing can touch them.

Like with every step of their feet forward, that’s what they can be: invincible. Like when they’re together, that’s what they _are_.

* * *

The future weighs a bit heavier on Iwaizumi’s mind than it should for a fifteen year old. It’s just high school. They’re just stepping from one court to another, moving onto something bigger and better with a whole heap of opportunities they’ve never had before. One more step, one more chance to make good on the promise to finally reach the backs of a team they could never touch, to beat them. To go to Nationals together. One more chance to make all their dreams come true.

Maybe at Aobajousai, they can do things they’d never been able to at Kitagawa Daiichi. Maybe there, they can achieve dreams they’ve always had, but could never quite reach.

He tries not to let it cloud his thoughts too often. Not when they still have an opportunity to beat Shiratorizawa in junior high—one last time.

Yet something still bothers him…

Maybe it’s brought on by nerves that they still have one last chance to beat Shiratorizawa in junior high. Maybe it’s a result of this weird place in the emotional equivalent of no man’s land—you’re stuck in the middle, not sure which way is right—when he can’t make an accurate judge if interactions between himself and Oikawa are a new shift in their dynamic, leaning more toward the _you’re my best friend and I’m in love with you_ side or if they’re just the usual _you’re my best friend and I love you_ , totally platonic, typical way of life. That’s the thing with holding a lifelong friendship with someone who you’ve fallen in love with as a result: is he reading too much into things they’ve always done since they were kids or is it actually something more? Will he ever _truly_ know the answer? More news at eleven…

(After all, new normals in his every day life since admitting to himself that he’s in love with Oikawa include: thinking of ways to cover and conceal words or actions that may give him away, self-doubt, and hesitation brought on by standing on the precipice of saying how he feels or keeping quiet, of wanting more or preserving what they already have.

Like he said, emotional no man’s land. But _that’s_ a story for another day…)

The thought in question starts as a small inkling of insecurity that he tries to tell himself isn’t really a rational thought or argument. But as with any intrusive thought like that, it can grow, fester into something much bigger.

Iwaizumi finds himself thinking back on something that had happened a while ago, after they had lost to Shiratorizawa. Again.

But there’d been something different about this loss. Following the match, Ushijima had approached Oikawa, had said that Oikawa should consider going to Shiratorizawa for high school.

Then, Iwaizumi had thought that it must take a whole lot of guts to say that to an opponent you’d just beaten. Or maybe Ushijima doesn’t have enough tact to care. But it’s not said like a taunt, like some people would word it. It’s blunt, straightforward, like it’s a statement of fact rather than a jab.

_You’d be better somewhere else._

Oikawa’s always just laughed whenever Ushijima’s said it. Shoots back a comment that’s much more of a barbed jab than Ushijima’s is.

In theory, it’s nothing to worry about. Yet, here he’s been dwelling on it more and more.

Maybe it’s not logical or rational given what Oikawa’s said in response, how he’s acted about the concept. But Shiratorizawa is just the figurative, isn’t it? The question that’s dragging him into the depths of self-doubt is if Oikawa really would be better off somewhere else, somewhere it may be easier to chase his dreams, to achieve them?

Most people would jump at the chance. But Oikawa’s not most people, and Iwaizumi’s always known that. He knows that better than anyone. There’s no one like Oikawa.

If he’s uncertain, the logical response, of course, is to fucking talk about it. Confront it head on, like he usually likes to. Bring it up to Oikawa, who he’s more than comfortable with talking to about his problems normally. But admitting to insecurity and being emotionally vulnerable with something that maybe he’s a little, tiny bit afraid of learning the answer to deters the logical option.

“Hey, Iwa-chan, you look like you’re thinking way too hard.” Oikawa steps ahead of him on their walk home from school, spins around to face him, teasing grin on his lips as he walks backwards, a spring in his step. “What’s got your brain so fried?”

 _You_ , he could say, accompanied by an eye-roll. It’s so in character for them, their dynamic, that he could easily pass off a truthful comment as a sharp, teasing jab. “You’re going to trip if you don’t look where you’re going.”

“Eh, I’ll be fine.” He shoots Iwaizumi a teasing grin. “You’d never let me fall down.”

Okay, well… he’s not wrong, at least. But this time, Iwaizumi groans. “Don’t count on that. I’m gonna laugh at you if you trip with that kind of confidence.”

“Always so mean, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa doesn’t sound the least bit miffed about it, though, despite the way he’s exaggerated a slump of his shoulders and pout on his lips. “Seriously, though. You okay?”

“Yeah, all good. Just thinking.”

“That’s never a good sign.” But Oikawa doesn’t seem totally convinced by his answer, despite the joke back. But that’s the thing about being friends with someone your entire life: you get to know them like you know yourself. You know when to push, and you know when to keep quiet. You know when to let something slide by, and you know when to poke at it ‘til the truth comes out.

And this time, Oikawa doesn’t push. He grabs onto Iwaizumi’s hands, pulls him forward, closer into this dance they’ve been in for what feels like forever. “You should come over. We can—”

“Tooru,” Oikawa’s mother calls from their doorstep, only feet away from where’d they’d stopped walking and Oikawa had been about to invite him over. “You have mail here for you.”

Oikawa makes a face, and lets go of Iwaizumi’s hands, almost like he’s annoyed his mother interrupted him and he had to. “What is it?”

She takes the short few steps to close the distance between them, and hands Oikawa the envelope. “I think it’s from that school who asked you to go there?”

Even if she hadn’t said so, Iwaizumi knows that’s what it is because he can make out the neat scrawl on the envelope in Oikawa’s hands.

Without even thinking about it, he blurts out, “Hey, I should go. My ma told me if I didn’t clean my room she’d ground me.”

The sudden excuse distracts Oikawa away from the piece of mail. “Really? Want me to come over and convince her not to?” He grins. “Your mom loves me. I’ll just tell her you need to help me with homework.”

“Tooru, did you really just say you’d lie to Hajime’s mother right in front of me?”

“It’s not lying if I really need the help, though.” Oikawa tries to cover for himself quickly, nudging Iwaizumi’s shoulder, asking for his support to cover what he’d just said. Just like when they were kids and got caught doing something they shouldn’t. “Right, Iwa-chan?”

“Yeah.” He forces a grin. “I’m going to go, though. I’m still in hot water from last time I didn’t clean when she told me to.”

Oikawa frowns. “If you’re sure…”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Sure.”

It doesn’t seem like he’s bought the quick, haphazard excuse at all. And really, why would Oikawa buy it? He knows Iwaizumi better than that, and honestly, Iwaizumi doesn’t even really know why he’d lied about having to go home anyway.

He’ll deal with it later. Give it some time to settle and then text Oikawa or something. They’ll talk again later.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Later happens sooner than expected, and it’s in the form of a knock to his bedroom door.

“Yeah?”

When the door opens, he expects it to be his mother. Instead, he gets Oikawa.

“What are you doing here?” He hates how surprised his voice sounds, like barging into each other’s rooms like they’re their own isn’t something normal.

“I practically live here, I’ll have you know. Your mom was delighted to see me.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes before he turns over in his bed, away from Oikawa. “ _Sure_ she was.” 

“So, you wanna tell me what the lying is about?” Oikawa wastes no time getting straight to the point, steps into his room, and shuts the door behind him. “Your room doesn’t look very messy. And your mom said she was surprised to see me because you told her I was busy today.”

“It’s nothing.”

“C’mon, Iwa-chan. You know as well as I do it’s not nothing. So spill. What’s going on?”

He finally turns to look at Oikawa. “It’s stupid. I was just wondering if you’d ever thought of going somewhere else for high school? I don’t know… like Shiratorizawa?”

“Where the hell would you get an idea like that?” Okay, it’s almost funny to see how Oikawa seems personally offended by the suggestion, like it’s an attack on his very being. “I hope it’s not from anything I’ve ever said. Last I checked, saying I wanted to destroy Shiratorizawa didn’t translate to wanting to go to school there.”

“No, it was just a thought.”

Oikawa laughs. “You scared me for a second. Besides, you think I could possibly handle being in Ushiwaka’s presence for three years? That’s not something I want to think about.”

Iwaizumi snorts out a laugh at the dramatics.

“Is this about that dumb letter?” The bed dips when Oikawa sits next to him. “Why would you think that I’d want to go somewhere else, Iwa-chan?”

“I’ve thought so before… I just think any school would be lucky to have you. You’re amazing. You deserve it.” He takes a breath, finally saying what he’s been afraid to. “And if that is what you want, don’t feel obligated to stick around or go somewhere for me. It wouldn’t change anything between us, at least for me. You should do what’s best for—”

Oikawa laughs and raps his knuckles against Iwaizumi’s forehead. “You can be so _dumb_ sometimes, Iwa-chan. Is there really a brain in there?”

The anger bubbles up inside of him and he knocks Oikawa’s hand away from his face. “Fuck you.”

“Language, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says with a smirk, drawing out each syllable in the most annoying way that leaves Iwaizumi torn between wanting to hit him and wanting to kiss him. With a tentative reach of his fingers, Oikawa rests his hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek, tracing over his skin, a light and barely there touch that’s gone as quickly as it came when Oikawa pulls his hand back, fidgeting slightly. “I had a feeling that’s what might be wrong. Can I show you something?”

“What?”

Oikawa pulls out the letter he had gotten, the same one that had started all of this. “Shiratorizawa sent it.”

Iwaizumi nods. They’d already known that. What’s the point of confirming it? “Yeah. So you gonna open it or—?”

Oikawa shakes his head and rips the unopened letter in half, rips it again after that before throwing it into the trash bin near Iwaizumi’s desk.

“What’d you do that for, dumbass? You didn’t even open it!”

“You seriously don’t know?” Oikawa leans down, their faces so close to each other, barely any space between them. “You said any school would be lucky to have me. Well, _any school_ isn’t _you_ , Hajime.”

His eyes widen, and for a moment it feels like he’s been laid bare, like it’s only the two of them—nothing, no one else—in that one moment. “Tooru…”

“I’m choosing what _I_ want,” Oikawa continues, quick enough to stop any protest Iwaizumi may have. “A-and don’t…” He pokes Iwaizumi’s chest at that. “Don’t think you’re holding me back. Don’t ever think that. If it wasn’t for you… if it wasn’t for you, Hajime, I’d…”

Iwaizumi reaches up, the pads of his fingers brushing over Oikawa’s cheek, heart constricting at the words. This confirms that Oikawa holds the same value for Iwaizumi that he holds for Oikawa—equal, what one gives the other gives back. A life where they’re supposed to stick together. “You and me?”

Oikawa nods, leaning into Iwaizumi’s touch. “You and me,” he confirms with a soft smile, a real smile—not one of those over-exaggerated ones that’s too wide with too much teeth and nowhere near reaching his eyes. “Always.”

In that moment, he thinks that Oikawa has never looked more beautiful, perfect. And they’re close enough, connected, touching, that it’d be so easy to say so. So easy to act on those feelings.

But then, the gears change, like they’ve realized they’re too close, closer than any pair of friends should be, closer than _they_ should be, unless random lapses of judgement or emotion charged moments take over.

Oikawa pulls back at the same time Iwaizumi lets his hand drop to his side, silence surrounding them for a moment while they process everything that had just happened.

“Anyway,” Oikawa starts, quick to fill the space between them with something, anything other than silence. “Since your room isn’t actually a mess, do you want to come over? My mom will probably make us do our homework first because of what I said in front of her earlier, but we can do something else after, if you want.”

“Yeah.” He accepts the hand Oikawa offers him. “Let’s go.” 

**.**

**.**

**.**

Maybe, just maybe, things would be different a lot sooner, he thinks, much, much later, had they been more honest, braver with each other earlier. But back then, they’re just fifteen year old boys, caught up in their own heads, not quite sure what to do with their hearts. It’s different than when they were kids—when saying they loved each other was simple, when wearing plastic rings and saying they got married so they could stay together forever was something people thought was childishly cute, but not permanent, not really forever because promises made in the heat of summer, with the simplicity of childhood didn’t hold the same weight something similar would as teenagers or as adults.

And when you don’t know for certain? Well, staying quiet and not disrupting the whole order of the universe seems to be your best bet. So that’s what they do.

Until they can’t anymore.

* * *

High school. When all their dreams can, when all their dreams _will_ come true. Any wall in their way, they’ll break it down, climb higher and higher and _higher_ until they’re standing at the top together.

In theory? Hell yeah. In practice?

Yeah, _right_.

At the beginning, it all seems like high school would never measure up to the hopeful declarations and out-of-reach wishes they share. Saying they’ll destroy Shiratorizawa and make it to Nationals is one thing. And if you could do it on effort alone, well, they’d certainly be top contenders.

Their first two years of high school, they lose out to Shiratorizawa. Again. It’s close, but not close enough.

It _sucks_. There’s nothing like constantly being second best, nothing like climbing close enough to win but never being able to put it away. Second place are the first losers, right? Yeah, that gets hard to stomach after a while, after losing to the same seemingly unbeatable team over and over again.

Losses are rough. They sting, they _hurt_ because getting so close only to lose out is more frustrating than not having a chance in hell or any business on the floor. It proves they’re contenders. That they could do it. One of these times, they could do it.

But this time, it’s the end of their second year of high school. Next year is the last year they have a chance to win, and the thought of that alone is like a weight on their shoulders, an immense amount of pressure. Even more so, with the loss of their teammates a year above them, that meant that the team was theirs now—Oikawa as captain, Iwaizumi as vice-captain. 

Then, there's the added element that Kageyama will be in high school next year. Another obstacle to overcome. 

Things aren’t as bad as they had been in junior high after they’d lose, but Oikawa doesn’t always react well—withdraws into himself for a while, and sometimes he either doesn’t want to talk at all or he’ll accept comfort and move on relatively quickly, ready for what’s next.

This time, Iwaizumi thinks—no, knows—that because of the added pressure of next year being their last year, Oikawa has cut himself off and hasn’t said much since they got back to the locker room. So he mostly gives Oikawa his space while the rest of the team is around, but when everyone’s left, that’s when he turns to face Oikawa.

“You coming?”

Oikawa shrugs from where he’s seated on the floor, leaning against the wall. One shoe on, one lying uselessly at his side. “I guess.”

“Yeah, don’t think you can sleep here.”

It’s just a joke, but Oikawa groans. Even when Iwaizumi can’t see his face, he can picture the grimace Oikawa’s lips are twisted into, the defeated look in his eyes that also have a flicker of annoyance in them that appears any time they start to bicker like this. “You… you don’t have to wait around and check to make sure I’m okay, Iwa-chan. I’m sure you would rather be doing something else… better things than sitting here with me moping around.”

That stings. Even if Oikawa says it because he’s upset, it still stings. “So that’s what you think? Really?”

“I don’t know what to think. I just… I’m sure you don’t need me to drag you down too. I’m—”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been your best friend since we were babies, Oikawa. I barely reacted when you puked on my shoes when we were kids, and when you broke my finger after you accidentally smashed it in your door that time we played hide and seek, even though you thought I’d never want to be your friend again. I sat there and held your hand when you had to stick your ankle in a tub of ice after you twisted it last year. What the hell makes you think I don’t want to be here with you?”

“Do you get tired of it?” _Me_. He’s asking if Iwaizumi ever gets tired of him.

And the answer is never. Never, never, _never_.

Oikawa continues, quiet. “I don’t know how you don’t. I would. Sometimes, I fucking _hate_ myself and don’t think that feeling is ever going to go away. If I feel that way, how do you not—?”

It’s like a tight pressure has pushed down on his chest, refusing to relent. Like something has constricted its way around his heart, refusing to let go. The self-deprecation, the quiet sadness in Oikawa’s voice, the way he’s saying he thinks are a sharp stab to Iwaizumi’s heart, a painful ache.

“Hey.” He kneels down in front of Oikawa, puts his hands on his shoulders, squeezes them gently. The first part of a reassurance that he’s never—that he could never—think the way Oikawa’s suggesting he should. “You don’t drag me down. You never could. God, Tooru, I think you’re amazing. You make me better. You make me want to be better and you always push me forward. And you’re enough. You’ve always been. Maybe not always by your own standards, but for me… for me, Tooru…” 

“Iwa-chan? What are you…?” Oikawa starts, a quiet whisper, like a breath, but Iwaizumi doesn’t stop. Maybe it’s because of the defeated look in Oikawa’s eyes, or the broken, painful question of if Iwaizumi ever gets tired of him. Whatever it is, it’s got him spilling years of pent up feelings like they were never meant to be kept hidden in the first place.

“No one is like you. There’s no one else who’s stuck by me through everything and has always been there. _Everyone else_ isn’t _you_ , Tooru. I’m not gonna get tired of being with you. I fucking want to be here because I love you!”

The realization of what he’s said hits him the moment it’s out there, words thrown into the space between them. As much as his initial reaction is to hope he can somehow sink into the floor, wishing there was a soundproof barrier between them so Oikawa didn’t hear the confession, it’s a little freeing to get his feelings out there for the first time in years.

There’s an audible gasp, a shaky intake of breath. So much for deluding himself into thinking maybe Oikawa didn’t hear it. The silence stretches between them for a moment, allows the words to settle in, like they’re materializing in the space between them. Real and true, unable to be taken back. This can either change everything or they pretend it’s never happened and move on like it’s nothing.

Iwaizumi almost doesn’t want to know which way it goes.

“W-what did you say?”

“Nothing. Just forget I said anything. I…”

“No.” Oikawa leans forward and takes Iwaizumi’s hands in his. “Say it again. Please.”

“I love you… I’m in love with you.” He grimaces as he says the words again, the honest, honest words that may cause him to very quickly learn the answer to what you do when your best friend breaks your heart. That’s that. Secret’s out. Game over. “Look, I know its not the same for you. I’ve always known that. Just… just pretend I didn’t…”

But Oikawa cuts that statement off, squeezes Iwaizumi’s hands. “Why would you think that?”

Iwaizumi sighs. “There’s no way you could ever—”

“And you have the nerve to call me dumb,” Oikawa mutters.

“What’s that supposed to—?”

As an answer, Oikawa leans in, a quick surge forward to cut off Iwaizumi’s question with a kiss. The force of it nearly knocks Iwaizumi backwards, but his hands finally settle on Oikawa’s jacket, the fabric scrunched beneath his fingers as he steadies them both.

Oh. _Oh._

 _That’s_ what he means.

“I’ve been in love with you for years, Hajime,” Oikawa confesses when they break apart, faces still close together, barely any distance between them as Oikawa clings onto his jacket. “Since at least junior high.”

 _That_ feels a bit surreal. All this time, he’d been worried about ruining what they had by confessing how he felt. Well, that’s just getting thrown in his face now as being blatantly wrong. Oikawa _does_ feel the same, and he has for just as long as Iwaizumi has.

He can’t help it. He laughs.

Oikawa bristles under his touch, grips his jacket tighter. “Is this a joke to you?”

“No, not at all.” Still, he laughs. More in disbelief than anything. _All of this time…_ “Me too. I’ve loved you since junior high.”

“How come you never said anything?”

“I don’t know… I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“And here I was thinking that you must not feel the same if I’d been accidentally dropping so many hints for so long…” Oikawa frowns. “I kept thinking you’d eventually figure it out and it’d ruin everything.”

“Believe me, I know that feeling.” His fingers brush over Oikawa’s cheek. “We’re both so stupid.”

“Yeah.” Oikawa laughs, pressing his forehead against Iwaizumi’s. “Yeah, we are.”

They kiss again, and it’s considerably better the second time when it’s expected instead of a surprise, when it’s not a quick tackle that nearly knocks them over. This time, it’s meeting in the middle—no awkward angles or bumping noses or scrambling to find where their hands should go. Like coming home after a long time away, but you’ve always known where you belong.

That’s what kissing Oikawa feels like. Coming home. Being welcomed home.

“You okay?” He takes Oikawa’s face in his hands when they break the kiss. Coming down from the rush of it all reminds him of what they’d been talking about in the first place to lead them here. “I know you’re upset we didn’t win today…”

“Yeah. But you get better and better at pulling me out of it.” He grins, leaning into Iwaizumi’s touch. “I think this time, I might’ve ended up with something better, though. So Ushiwaka can have it this time. Next time, though…”

“Next time,” Iwaizumi agrees. “They’re not gonna know what hit ‘em.”

The declaration’s punctuated with Oikawa hugging him tightly, like that’s reaffirming all the promises between them. _Next time. Next year. We can do it. We_ will _do it._

But in a way, it’s like they’ve reaffirmed something else—something that’s always existed between them, but has only been fully realized now.

He holds out his hand for Oikawa to take once they’ve finally gotten up off the ground and are ready to leave, to go home. Like he’s silently asking, waiting for confirmation. _So it’s you and me, then?_

Oikawa takes his hand quickly, entwines their fingers together as he pulls Iwaizumi out the door. His answer. _You and me. Always._

“Y’know,” Oikawa starts after a few minutes, swinging their connected hands between them. “I still expect you to take me on a proper date, Iwa-chan. Don’t think that just because you’ve been my best friend forever and married me when we were kids means that you get out of something like that.”

Iwaizumi scoffs, kicking Oikawa’s leg lightly. “Give me some more credit, idiot. Besides, who said I had to be the one to take you on a date? You could take me.”

“Nuh-uh, you confessed first, so you take me on a date first. No take-backs.”

He groans, exaggerated annoyance. “I’m having war flashbacks to when we were five. You sound just like you did back then.”

“Haha, very funny. Don’t pretend you weren’t charmed by me back then too.”

“Maybe you should quit while you’re ahead.” But he squeezes Oikawa’s hand. They haven’t broken the contact between them since they left, their fingers still intertwined, linked. Together, forever.

* * *

Without even having to look up, Iwaizumi knows who has sat down next to him, Oikawa’s shoulder brushing against his own, their thighs touching.

There’s a lot he wants to say to Oikawa: _I’m sorry_ ; _playing with you all this time has meant the world to me_ ; _I wish I could have done more to make all your dreams come true._

Ever since they left the gym, the rest of the team—for the last time—he’s been mulling over what to say. This ending, playing volleyball together ending, is a huge milestone for them, and he wants to get the words right—manage something beyond tears and menial comforting words that don’t really do much to soothe the pain at the moment after losing their last match together, their last match with this team.

“Thank you.”

Oikawa’s soft words jolt him to attention, and when Iwaizumi looks up he doesn’t see a trace of sadness or anger or self-loathing or regret. All he can see is Oikawa’s smile, so inherently bright that it’s almost blinding.

It’s not one he would expect to see, not after…

“For what?” he finds himself asking, still not really sure what Oikawa is thanking him for in the first place. They’d lost, after all. They’d lost and—

The sigh Oikawa lets out is playful, mockingly exasperated as he pushes at Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “You mean you don’t know, Iwa-chan?”

“If I knew I wouldn’t be asking.” He pushes Oikawa’s shoulder back, nudging him gently, playfully.

“I really shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve never been the brightest guy around, Iwa-chan.”

“ _Oikawa…_ ”

Oikawa laughs softly at the mock anger, reaches over and takes Iwaizumi’s hand in his own. Their fingers fit together perfectly, naturally. “Thank you for being here. I don’t think I could ever have asked for anything more than playing together all of these years, Hajime, and it’s something I’m always going to remember.”

There’s a sudden tightness in his chest, and the tears that he believed he’d finally gotten rid of after the match with Karasuno had ended are back in his eyes, ready to fall. “Don’t make it sound like the end, idiot.” He squeezes Oikawa’s hand tightly.

“Well… it is, in a way. We’ll be at different schools next year. I just… I wanted to say that volleyball together was a good run. Thanks for sticking with me. You’re the best teammate, friend, and partner I could ever ask for.”

 _Dammit_. Damn Oikawa for making him cry again.

“You’re the best everything,” Iwaizumi says, laughing a little as he tries to wipe away the tears on his face with his free hand. “You _are_ everything, Tooru. I can’t imagine what life would be like if it was anything but you and me together. Thank _you_ for staying, for being with me all this time.” He smiles as he squeezes Oikawa’s hand again. “I love you.” 

Oikawa bites his lip, now quivering significantly enough that Iwaizumi notices it. “Hajime… you… you can’t just one-up me like that! It’s not fair!”

“It’s completely fair,” Iwaizumi shoots back, laughing through his tears as he leans forward, resting his forehead against Oikawa’s. “Let me win for once.”

“Technically, I made you cry first, so the win is mine.” Oikawa grins, reaches up to cup Iwaizumi’s cheek. “And you have the nerve to always call me a crybaby, Iwa-chan. Who’s laughing now?”

“Neither of us, considering that we’re both sitting here crying.”

 _That_ gets Oikawa laughing too, smiling even brighter than before. “I love you too.” He leans forward to kiss Iwaizumi, confirming everything they’ve just said. “I love you, Hajime.”

They lean against each other when they pull apart, fingers intertwined as they glance out at the setting sun.

“It doesn’t change now just because we’re not in the same place,” Oikawa finally says, voice confident, despite the fact that being so far apart for the first time in their whole lives is a terrifying prospect.

“Not a chance,” Iwaizumi agrees. 

Things will change now. Things _will_ be different. They’ll be at different schools, they’ll face each other on different sides of the court.

But there’s one thing that will never change: Oikawa Tooru is Iwaizumi’s best friend on the entire fucking planet, and the two of them have always been meant to stick together, to be together.

 _That’s_ a promise.

* * *

“You got the keys?”

Oikawa holds them up, flashing him a grin. “Asked Yahaba for them this morning. Perks of being a beloved upperclassman?”

Iwaizumi lets out a laugh of disbelief, swiping the keys in question out of Oikawa’s hand. “Yeah, sure. Meanwhile, the truth is he let you borrow them to get you to leave him alone.”

“Even when we graduate you say terrible, mean things to me.”

“Can’t let a day of that slip away, can I?” He lands a light punch on Oikawa’s shoulder, shooting him a smile. “Race you?”

“You’re on!”

They race to the club room, even though it’s not very far at all, for the last time. Always a step or two faster than Oikawa, Iwaizumi reaches it first and jams the borrowed set of keys into the door to let themselves inside the empty room that’s characterized so much of their three years of high school.

It’s not like they haven’t been back in here since they officially retired from the team—all of the third years had come back here and to the gym at least a few times to watch the underclassmen as they started working for the next year. But, even so, it’s strange to think this will be the last time, their last day in this room, in this gym, in this school.

Three years. Three years of blood and sweat and tears. Three years of the squeak of gym shoes and smack of a volleyball on linoleum floor. Three years of wearing the same uniform, of playing together on the same side of the court.

Now, all of that would change from here on out. High school will be just a thing of the past, a memory as they move forward, to the future.

Even so, just because something changes, evolves, doesn’t mean the past never happened, doesn’t mean the building blocks that got them here are erased.

“Weird being in here when it’s so empty like this.”

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi knows what he means. They’ve been alone in here countless times before, but there’s never been the hanging ambiance that it would be the final, final time until now.

And it _is_ weird being in here without all the usual loudness and their teammates creating chaos. Really, there’s never been a dull moment…

(Once, Iwaizumi had thrown a shoe at Oikawa that went skyrocketing through the room and hit the opposite wall instead, leaving a clearly noticeable scuff there that they all pretended they never knew the origins of when they were asked by their coaches. 

Once, Hanamaki and Matsukawa had spent an entire early morning practice shouting history facts between drills to help each other study for an exam they had later in the day. And by entire practice, that included the ungodly time in the morning they’d arrived at the gym and continued until they were rushing out the door after practice to get to class.

Once, Kindaichi tripped over a bench when Kunimi—in that ultra casual, totally disinterested way only Kunimi can emulate—told him a spider was on his head as a prank, which sent Hanamaki into a fit of laughter while Matsukawa documented the entire scene on his phone.

“You know what I always like to say?” Matsukawa had said in response to Kindaichi’s embarrassed reaction. “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” Hanamaki had agreed, calling Matsukawa’s idea words of wisdom before he swiped his phone and sent the video to their team’s group chat. “But luckily, we’ve got pics.”)

Yeah, they’re taking their final walkthrough of where so much of their high school experience resided, but this silence really makes it feel like it.

This really is their last step before everything changes, when they’ll attend different schools, make decisions about their lives going forward. They both plan to keep volleyball a firm epicenter of their lives in college.

Beyond that, Iwaizumi’s always known that even if he doesn’t chase after volleyball the way Oikawa will—probably far beyond college and all the way to the pros—the sport, athletics in general, is something he wants to keep in his life. So he picks a path where he can do that in sports medicine, athletic training.

(In their first year of high school, a third year on the team had blown out his knee. In some ways, Iwaizumi thinks that maybe, maybe it scared Oikawa into keeping cool how he used to get about practicing in junior high, the tendencies he still sometimes had in the years after. He’d already hurt his ankle before, wore a knee brace to mitigate strain there.

But that moment would stick with Iwaizumi as well—as a cautionary tale and a desire to prevent it. There had been plenty of times he’d help Oikawa tape up his knee or any other injuries, plenty of times he’d press an ice pack to Oikawa’s knee after practices or tough matches, help him stretch it out. Maybe, in some ways, that had sold him on the idea that caring for those injuries had happened to was just as important as standing on the court.)

“Well… take your last look,” Iwaizumi says after a few moments of quiet. “I’m sure our parents are gonna wonder where we’re at if we don’t…”

“Iwa-chan.”

“Yeah?”

Oikawa presses the little green ring from when they were kids into his hand, closes his palm around it. “Don’t forget me, okay?”

He smiles and takes Oikawa’s hand, gives him his own blue ring. “There’s no way I ever could.”

It’s tradition to give someone your second button after you graduate. But the two of them have always done their own thing, adapted and changed what they wanted to make something their own. Theirs. So rather than exchanging second buttons, they exchange the rings they’d given each other when they were six with a promise to hold onto each other’s rings when they’re apart.

When they leave Aobajousai’s gym for the last time, it’s not with fear or heaviness in their hearts. They take their first steps into a post-high school world with their fingers intertwined and a promise exchanged between them.

Even when they’re far apart going forward, when distance stretches between them and takes them different places, they still will always have each other to come back to.

They’ll still always have each other to come home to. 

* * *

Oikawa’s hand sits outstretched before him after the game, his lips curled into a grin. “Good game, Iwa-chan.”

“Easy for you to say when you won.” But Iwaizumi grins too, slaps Oikawa’s outstretched palm. “Good game. Now quit being formal and let me hug you already.”

“I was waiting for this.” His laughter overtakes him as Iwaizumi ducks under the net and scoops him up into a hug.

“It’s been too long,” Iwaizumi breathes, squeezing Oikawa tightly before he sets him back on the ground. But they still keep their arms wrapped around each other, much to their teammates’ amusement.

“Do you two have to do this _every_ time you play each other?” One of Iwaizumi’s teammates calls out, laughing, before turning to ask Kindaichi, who now goes to the same college and plays on the same team as Iwaizumi, “Kindaichi, how did you handle being on the same team as both of them in high school?”

Iwaizumi sticks up his middle finger at his teammate, but laughs when he hears Kindaichi answer with a shrug, “You get used to it.”

That’s true enough. And their respective teams know to expect this every time they’ve played each other in college now that they’re a few years in.

“Wanna go grab something to eat?” he asks Oikawa when they pull apart. “Stick around for a while?”

He nods. “You’re buying since I won this time.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll buy you dinner.” His hand finds its way into Oikawa’s, squeezes it. “Go change. I’ll meet you back here.” 

“Got it.”

This time, Oikawa may have won the match, but it feels like Iwaizumi’s won too because it’s a Friday night and they’d already planned to spend the weekend together. Gotta take advantage of any opportunity they get to do that since their schools aren’t super close. But it’s something they’ve gotten used to since they started college.

And Iwaizumi’s gonna enjoy every moment he has with Oikawa before he has to go back to his own space again.

* * *

“Can I talk to you about something?” Oikawa asks one weekend they’re spending together, voice cutting through the quiet as they sit curled up on the couch together.

“Yeah, of course.” Iwaizumi withdraws his legs from where he’d kicked them out to rest on his coffee table when Oikawa slides out from under his arm to sit crosslegged facing him on the couch. “Everything okay?”

The fact that Oikawa is asking to talk about something rather than being comfortable enough to just say it outright worries him a little bit. It means that whatever it is, he’s nervous to bring it up, to talk about it.

Oikawa nods, reaches for Iwaizumi’s hand, playing with his fingers like he’s trying to distract himself from whatever it is he wants to say. For a moment, Iwaizumi is worried Oikawa’s lying to him about everything being okay, a quick sting of worry passing through him at the thought of something really being wrong.

“Tooru,” he prods gently, which prompts Oikawa to finally look up at him. “What is it?”

Oikawa sucks in a breath. “Well… I’m almost done with school, and I got an offer to keep playing… um, professionally.”

“Seriously?” Iwaizumi tugs Oikawa’s hand, pulls him into a tight hug. “That’s amazing! I mean, I’m not surprised at all. It was only a matter of time ‘til someone snatched you up.”

His laughter, close to Iwaizumi’s ear, sounds too subdued for someone who got asked to play pro. “Thanks, Iwa-chan.”

“Aren’t you happy? Because you don’t sound like it…”

“I am happy. Trust me!” Oikawa pulls back from the embrace, but keeps his arms wrapped around Iwaizumi, close contact. “It’s just… it was an offer from… uh… kinda far. Far as in, overseas… in Argentina.”

Argentina? Not just another country, but a whole different continent? Miles and miles away? The furthest they’ve ever been apart in their lives?

Wait…

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re thinking of saying no because of—”

“I’m not! I just think… it’s important for us to talk about this, right? It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah, of course it is. But we’ll be fine. We’ve done distance before.” Granted, this is much, much further than anything they’ve ever done throughout college, but…

“We’ve done distance before, but it’s… I feel like it’s not fair for me to ask you to halt your whole life or change any of your plans down the line because of something I—”

“Hey.” His fingers brush against Oikawa’s cheek, a gentle caress. “You’re… you’re meant for this. I’ve always known that. Ever since you were the first one on our team to teach yourself to jump serve in junior high. This is important to you. It’s your future. And that makes it mine too. I’m always going to be there and support you. No matter what.”

Oikawa’s fingers curl tightly in the back of his t-shirt. “Hajime…”

“No one said distance is gonna be easy, but we can make it work. We’ll figure it all out down the line… if… if that’s what you want.” The last part of his statement trails off, more uncertain, the confidence he’d initially felt fizzling out a little bit because while he doesn’t think breaking up is what either of them want, what if there is a possibility Oikawa wants to? Living in a whole other country may make him want something like that…

But any momentary doubt is crushed by Oikawa’s quick nod, his eyes watery with the beginnings of tears in them. “You’re sure?”

Really, he’s not sure of a lot of things. It’s funny, thinking about the future as an adult, a new level of stress and pressure accompanying age, a totally different world from deciding what university to attend and what to study. The future is always up in the air—it’s what you make it. And even then, things change. They can always change in a split second, a singular moment.

Some people know what they want from a young age; others figure it out much later; and others have no clue what they want out of their future. It just falls into place for some, and others have to work and reach to carve out a spot for themselves.

For Iwaizumi, it’s not all that difficult of a decision. Because if there’s ever been one thing he’s always been certain of, has always been able to put his trust and faith and his whole heart into, it’s Oikawa Tooru. Any future he’s ever envisioned is with Oikawa at his side. _Always_.

So while the logistics of a big change like this may be unknown, he knows he’d be fine dealing with it, navigating their way through it together. Just like they always do. It may not be easy or smooth all the time—totally different than the linear path of finishing school, moving in together, getting married, adopting a pet, maybe kids eventually… the whole shebang—but this is the two of them with all of their earnest, dead set determination and sincere promises shared between them. Steady feet, fierce hearts, connected hands.

If this is what they both want, there’s no question about it. 

“Of course I’m sure.” He reaches up, takes Oikawa’s face in his hands, continues to lay his heart out on the line in a way that the thought, the soon-to-be reality of being miles and miles and an ocean apart makes him able to. “I wanna eventually live together in a house that you’ve picked all these ugly decorations for because you have terrible taste, and I say I can’t stand them, but I really don’t mind. I wanna wake up together every morning and fall asleep together every night. I wanna have a dog and maybe a kid or two. But most importantly, I want to be with you. No matter where the future takes us. That’s never going to change.”

The wetness of tears hit his fingers. Oikawa’s nose is all scrunched up like he’s trying to hold them back, but can’t despite the valiant effort. But he smiles, doesn’t stop smiling, even as he pulls Iwaizumi into a kiss.

“I love you,” Oikawa hiccups. “Hajime, I love—”

“I love you too, Tooru.” Maybe he’s crying too, he thinks, as Oikawa’s fingers brush against his face as the two of them shift, fall into each other like they’ve been doing for years and years. “I love you.”

**.**

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that—arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace—but eventually, their tears have stopped, and they’ve shifted their position, lying back on the couch instead, Oikawa pressed against Iwaizumi.

“I’m excited to keep playing, but… I’m scared too, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mutters after what could be minutes or hours of just lying there together, lifting his head to look at Iwaizumi.

That’s not surprising. It’s gotta be a terrifying idea to go to a new country all on your own, no matter how much you want to chase your dreams.

“You’re gonna be great wherever you go,” Iwaizumi says to reassure him, knuckles brushing against his cheek. “And I’m gonna be right there with you, okay?” _When all your dreams come true, I want to be the one standing next to you._

He sighs as he lays his head back down against Iwaizumi’s chest, directly over his beating heart. “I knew there was a reason I married you when we were kids, Iwa-chan.”

“Yeah. Great choice on your part, right?” Which draws a laugh out of Oikawa, who curls his fingers in Iwaizumi’s shirt.

“Great choice on my part, and an even greater choice on your part.” Quiet laughter passes between them, and Iwaizumi tangles his fingers in Oikawa’s hair. God, he’s going to miss this.

“I’ll miss you,” Oikawa whispers, a quiet murmur against Iwaizumi’s chest, like he knows that’s exactly what Iwaizumi had been thinking in the moment.

Iwaizumi nods. “I’ll miss you too. But it’s not forever.”

“It’s not forever,” Oikawa repeats, a reassurance to them both, a promise that any distance between them is temporary in the long run. They’re meant to be together. “Right.”

* * *

“Well,” Oikawa says, as they stand face-to-face in the lobby of the airport. “Looks like this is it, huh?”

Iwaizumi nods slowly. “Yeah. Guess so.”

Despite saying so, neither of them makes a move to say goodbye, even though Oikawa’s got a flight to catch. Almost like if they don’t move it will stall time, give them a little longer together before they have to separate with the uncertainty of when they’ll see each other next.

When it seems like neither of them wants to make the first move, wants to acknowledge the inevitable, Iwaizumi finally speaks up. “Can I give you something?”

For a moment, Oikawa seems taken aback, but he recovers quickly. “I’m never going to say no to a gift,” he says with a grin.

“I know.” Still, he hands Oikawa what he had wanted to give him—the ring from when they were kids, Oikawa’s ring that he had given Iwaizumi when they graduated high school. “We traded last time we were separating for a while, so I feel like it’s fitting if we trade back now.”

“Hang on.” Oikawa closes his palm around the ring before reaching to dig in his backpack with his free hand. A moment later, he pulls out the ring he’d been holding onto and hands it to Iwaizumi. 

“Don’t forget me, okay?” Iwaizumi says when the ring is in his hand, his palm closed over it tightly.

Oikawa’s smiling at him, but it’s a little shaky, his lip quivering the slightest bit. Still, he jokes, “The only way that’s happening is if an alien abducts me and erases my memory.” 

Iwaizumi groans. “You have a terrible sense of humor.”

“Aw, c’mon. Admit you’ll miss it.”

“No way.” 

Over the PA, someone calls out a gate change, drawing them back to the reality of it all. That they’re in the airport and Oikawa has to leave soon.

“So…” Iwaizumi starts, but Oikawa beats him to it.

“Sooo… is this gonna be a real one next time?” he asks, looking up from the ring in his palm and grinning.

“A-are you really asking me to propose to you?” Iwaizumi splutters, caught off guard by the sudden question and Oikawa’s stupid grin, the casualness of something so big. “Just like that?”

Really, it’s a prospect that isn’t a shock or surprising or anything like that. They’ve said it in so many words, ways that weren’t official, but mean the same. Getting married… it’s something he thinks they’re both certain will happen somewhere down the line.

“It worked when we were kids!”

He can’t help but laugh. “We’re twenty-two!”

“And we’re still together. I’ve obviously done something right.”

“Ugh. C’mere.” He pulls Oikawa into a hug. “I’m gonna fucking miss you.”

“Me too,” Oikawa murmurs, hugging him back tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“It’s not forever,” he reminds him, something they’ve been telling themselves since this became the direction Oikawa’s going in. “And I’m coming to see you the first chance I get, okay?”

“Okay.” But he sounds a little uncertain, afraid, and honestly, Iwaizumi doesn’t blame him. It has to be terrifying to go alone to a whole other country, into a whole new life. He’d be afraid too, if the roles were reversed.

“You’re gonna do great.” Iwaizumi’s fingertips brush against Oikawa’s cheek before settling in his hair. “I know you are. So go out there and kick some ass, okay?” 

This time, Oikawa smiles. “I always do.” And he pulls Iwaizumi into a kiss.

“I love you, Tooru,” he says when they pull apart, knowing that their time together is running thin. Oikawa needs to go, no matter how much Iwaizumi wishes he could stay or that he was going with him.

But it’s not forever. _It’s not._

“I love you too, Hajime.” Oikawa hugs him one last time.

“Have a safe flight. Let me know when you land, alright?”

“Yep. I will. See you later.”

“See you later.” 

So they let go of each other, and go their separate ways. It’s not forever, and it’s not goodbye. Not a chance. 

* * *

Once, when Iwaizumi visits, Oikawa brings him to the beach with some of his teammates and has the idea to play beach volleyball against some of them together, on the same team again after so long.

“Been awhile since we’ve played on the same team. Think I still got it?” He grins, bumps Oikawa’s shoulder with his own. In the glow of the sunset, their feet buried in the beach’s sand on the outlines of a volleyball court, it really feels like they’ve come back home. And not just because they’re together again after months of being apart. Volleyball has always been home for them too. Something they’ve shared and cherished that has drawn them together in an unbreakable way.

Oikawa laughs, teases, “Afraid you can’t keep up with me anymore, Iwa-chan?”

In all honesty, he doesn’t think playing on the same team as Oikawa is something he _could_ forget. They spent so long on the same side of the court, became so finely attuned to each other and how the other played that it isn’t something you just forget a few years later. Besides, they’ve played beach together in the off-season—both for fun and to get more practice in. Practicing in the sand helps when you move back to a court indoors.

Perfectly in sync, people used to say about them when they’d played.

That’s not something that just disappears without a trace.

“I’m not as rusty as you think.” Iwaizumi pulls the volleyball from Oikawa’s hands. “C’mon. Let’s play ‘em. I’ll serve first.” He pushes Oikawa’s shoulder, but the touch lingers longer than necessary, a gentle brush of his fingers, a thread drawing them back together. “Still countin’ on you, Captain.”

Oikawa’s fingers tangle in the back of his shirt, quick before the touch is gone. “Counting on you too, Iwa-chan.”

**.**

**.**

**.**

“I could get used to this,” Iwaizumi blurts out one evening when they’ve wrapped themselves up together in Oikawa’s bed, his fingers in Oikawa’s hair as they lie here together.

They’re twenty-four years old now, and have been navigating this impossibly long stretch of distance between them for over two years now. It’s not as difficult as when it first started, but still, there are some nights the loneliness creeps in, an untreatable ache that’s only made worse by knowing there’s a twelve hour time difference and a gigantic ocean keeping them apart.

Iwaizumi misses Oikawa every single day, and maybe it’s not as painful as it was in the early days of this, but it still hurts to dwell on just how far and how long they’ve spent physically apart.

“What?” Oikawa rolls over, resting his chin on Iwaizumi’s chest so they’re able to look at each other. “Being with me every day? Can’t blame you for that. I _am_ pretty good company.”

“Obviously not.” He rolls his eyes at Oikawa’s joke, his attempt to fish for compliments. “I was talking about how comfortable your pillows are. They’re way better than mine.”

His lip juts out in a pout. “Really? You came all of this way for my pillows? Not me?”

“Sorry to break it to you this way.” He picks up one of the pillows lying next to him and hits Oikawa’s arm with it when he pinches his side. “Hey! Don’t do that! I’m not afraid to kick you off of this bed.”

“You come into my home for a week and act like you own it now,” Oikawa mutters, under his breath, but loud enough for Iwaizumi to hear the quip as he tries to conceal his laughter. “That’s fair.”

“And you’ve done the same when you’ve come to my place, so it’s totally fair. Remember the last time when you ate all the food I owned?”

“I’m not gonna be able to let you go back tomorrow.” The tone shifts as Oikawa says what they’re both thinking, and turns his head to rest his cheek against Iwaizumi’s chest. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“I know…” His fingers curl in Oikawa’s hair, brushing against the back of his head gently as Iwaizumi thinks about what he wants to say next, about what he’s wanted to say for a while now. “Maybe… maybe we don’t have to…”

“What do you mean?” When he shifts, his eyes fall on Iwaizumi again. “You’re gonna stay longer?”

Here goes… “No. I mean… not right away, at least. But what if we made this more permanent?”

Silence engulfs them for a moment before Oikawa speaks. “You… are you saying you want to live here? With me?”

“Yeah, with you. Who else?” He laughs, poking Oikawa’s forehead. “Unless you have a roommate I’m not aware of?”

A quiet snort of laughter slips past Oikawa’s lips. “No. Just you when you’re here.”

“Yeah, so… I’ve thought about it a lot. And looked into it, and talked to some people. We’ve known for over two years already this was gonna be the ultimate goal, so I’ve been preparing for this for a while, really, with school and work and everything. Within the next few months, I think I’d be ready to do that.”

“R-really?” Oikawa nearly shoots up out of the bed in excitement as he processes what Iwaizumi is saying. “You mean it?”

“I mean, I love to get the last laugh in, but that would be a low prank for me to play.” He grins, rolling over onto his side and resting his hand on Oikawa’s thigh. “Yes, I mean it. Did you really think we were going to spend the next few years only seeing each other once every few months?” If they’re lucky enough to even get that. Nearly three years of that has been bad enough, but to do that indefinitely? That would suck.

“Ideally, no. But if we had to…”

(A while ago, Oikawa had told him, “I’ve never expected you to pack your life up and move across the world for me.”

 _My home is with you_ , Iwaizumi had wanted to say. Home sure as hell isn’t his own apartment where he’s lived alone the past few years. That’s been fine and good, a placeholder until something more permanent for the two of them became possible.

“Half my life is wherever you are,” he’d said, not caring how cheesy it sounds because it’s the blunt truth Oikawa needs to hear. “And that’s what I’m choosing. Not because you expect me to, but because I want to.”)

“We _don’t_ have to, though. That’s what I’m saying.” He tugs on Oikawa’s hand, pulls him back down so they’re lying on their sides, face-to-face. “It’ll still be a few months, but you’d better start preparing to see me every day.”

Even though it doesn’t seem that out of place—it’s the logical next step to take in their relationship and adult lives—it’s still exciting to think of moving in together. It’s exciting, but in some ways, it’s terrifying too. But it’s a transition they’ll face together, that they’ll make happen together.

“I don’t need to prepare for something I’ve been wanting for such a long time.” A happy sigh slips past his lips as he tangles his legs with Iwaizumi’s. “I can’t wait.”

“Yeah, me too.” He leans forward, presses a kiss to Oikawa’s forehead. “I can’t wait.”

* * *

It’s not like he owns that much stuff, so packing up isn’t that difficult. And he’s still got two weeks to do it. But it’s a busy two weeks of wrapping things up here. He’d promised to do things like go see his parents before he leaves, and Oikawa’s mother had asked him to stop by as well—to say goodbye and to pick up a few things she’d wanted him to take. Oikawa’s sister wanted him to meet his ‘future nephew’ as she’d teased when she texted him to come meet her newborn baby, especially since her younger brother hadn’t been around when his nephew was born. Hanamaki and Matsukawa had insisted he go out for drinks with them or they’d storm his apartment and never let him leave.

Basically, there’s a lot he needs and wants to do in a really short amount of time, so maybe it’s best to start packing now when he’s got a bit of free time.

As he’s putting some stuff on his desk away, the blue ring he’d received back from Oikawa a few years ago at the airport catches his eye. He picks it up, looking at it for a few moments. It’s worn now, a little off-color from age and from the use it had gotten when they were kids.

 _“Sooo… is this gonna be a real one next time?”_ Oikawa had asked back then, and it seemed a long way out to think of something that would be more of an official symbol of permanence, but really, now that they’re a few years older, and have really taken the final few steps to completely establishing a permanent future together, it doesn’t seem so far out. It seems just around the corner, really.

_Maybe…_

The buzz of his phone quickly pulls him from his thoughts, and when he jumps to sit on his bed, to grab his phone that’s ringing with a request from Oikawa to FaceTime, he lets go of the ring, sets it down not too far out of reach as his phone occupies his interest instead.

It’s a little past eleven at night, which means it’s only around eleven in the morning over there, but it’s usually pretty customary if they’re going to call each other, this is when they’ll do it. Once when it’s nighttime for Iwaizumi, and once when it’s nighttime for Oikawa.

He answers the call after the third ring. It takes a moment to connect once he’s accepted the call, but soon enough he can see Oikawa’s face on his phone. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Guess what!”

“Hello to you too.” Still it doesn’t slip past him that Oikawa’s words have an air of uncontainable excitement surrounding them. Something important has happened, and whatever it may be causes Iwaizumi’s heart to pound. “So, what’s the big news?”

“I just found out a few minutes ago. You’re the first to hear it after me.” He grins, unable to hold back the excitement now as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Okay, then don’t keep me in suspense. Spit it out.”

“You’re looking at the newest member of Argentina’s national team.”

“Are you serious?! Tooru, congratulations!” He has to remember to lower his volume—it’s late and his neighbors wouldn’t be happy with being woken up. But he can’t help it. He’s happy. So, so happy. “You did it!”

“I did it.” Oikawa’s voice sounds faraway, like he’s still in disbelief. “I really did it.”

This is the same boy who always had this air of confidence that warred with his own self doubts that fought to push that down, that made him feel inadequate, like he wasn’t going anywhere but instead would always remain stuck stagnant in the middle, close enough to the top that he could brush it with his fingertips, but that was never, never enough.

But things are different now. Over time, with lots of hard work and some growing up, Oikawa’s really managed to carve a path for himself. And all of that has brought him here.

“So that means…”

“That means next year I’ll be going to the Olympics if we qualify.”

The Olympics. The greatest stage of them all, something so many athletes dream of from the time they’re children onward. Something not everyone achieves, something you have to fight tooth and nail for.

And more likely than not, next year, Oikawa would be there.

He’s about to say how proud he is, but Oikawa beats him to it. “Hey, Hajime?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For sticking by me all this time and for supporting me. And well, for everything, really. I just…” He lets out a puff of breath. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted, and you’ve been with me the whole way. I don’t think I’ve ever said how much that means to me.”

“You’ve been with me this whole time too.” That’s just how it’s always been between them—give and take, stand by each other’s sides no matter the circumstance, no matter how hopeless something may seem at the time. Whatever they’ve faced, they’ve always gotten through it together, and they’ve always shared in each other’s accomplishments and successes like they were their own.

There are a lot of ways things could have gone for them, and those hypotheticals are stupid to dwell on because they’re here, still together. But just for the sake of saying, they could have separated long ago. In junior high when they’d fundamentally disagreed about the way Oikawa was looking at everything. They could have gone to different high schools and never played together again. They could have missed every opportunity to confess how they really felt about each other. They could have decided to call it quits when Oikawa decided to go play in another country because that’s a huge strain on any relationship, let alone to do it for a few years.

But they’d always stuck together, and now that some normalcy is right in reach and they’re accomplishing things they’d dreamed about for years, it really does feel like things are all coming together for them, that they’ve grown into adults they would be proud, happy to be as teenagers. They’re lucky.

“I’m really, really proud of you. You worked your ass off for this.” _And now the whole world is gonna know your name._ “I’m gonna hug the hell out of you when I see you in two weeks.”

“I hope I get more than that!”

Moments like these are the ones that really hammer home that being so far apart sucks, that receiving news like this through a phone screen will never, ever compare to receiving it in person. There’s a lot Iwaizumi knows he conveys better through touch—with a hand pressed to Oikawa’s shoulder, with a brush of his fingers against his cheek, with a tight hug around his waist. He can’t do any of that right now, but _god_ , all he wants to do is touch Oikawa.

Two more weeks. Two more weeks, and he can. This time, with no time limits placed on how long they’ll have before one of them has to leave again.

“Yeah, you will,” he says with a laugh. _Whatever you want. Every day. Always._ “Promise.”

Oikawa grins. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I know. Me too.” 

“Think it’s too late to call my parents?”

He shakes his head. “If they’re asleep, I don’t think they’d mind if you woke them up. This is kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Oikawa looks over his shoulder, saying something and waving at someone who had just walked by him. “Guess I should go, then.”

“Yeah. I should probably go to bed soon anyway.”

He nods. “Sleep well, Iwa-chan. Love you.”

“Love you too. Congrats again. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I am!” He grins. “Thanks! I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yep, talk to you later. Have a good rest of your day.”

The call ends, and Iwaizumi sets his phone to the side. The ring he’d left sitting on the bed by his knee catches his attention again, and he picks it back up, holds it in his palm for a minute before going to set it back down on his desk.

He smiles, thoughts wandering back to what he’d been thinking about before Oikawa had called. Yeah… things really are all coming together for them.

* * *

There’s nothing quite like being at the Olympics in person.

There’s _also_ nothing quite like watching your lifelong best friend win a gold medal at the Olympics after a close, five-set match in the finals.

This is the same kid Iwaizumi had been beside when he first picked up a volleyball, insisting they try it. The same kid he’d spent so many years with as one half of a pair on the court. Years and years of work has brought him here.

It took time to get here, lots of hard work, lots of failure and getting right within reach before having it ripped away. But Oikawa had done it. He’d overcome every obstacle in front of him to make it here.

And Iwaizumi has never experienced such an overwhelming sense of pride, a burst of happiness and fondness and love all rushing over him at the same time.

Maybe things hadn’t panned out on the promises they made in junior high and high school—to win it all, to go to Nationals together. But that wound has long since healed. Everything they’ve experienced together has given them something irreplaceable in turn, something still burning strong and bright years past that. Still together, after all of this time, at each other’s sides as they’ve obtained different types of dreams than they’d had back when they were teenagers.

They’ve always had a lot more to look forward to together than just playing volleyball together. It’s always, _always_ been more than that.

“Hajime!” The moment he’s able to, Oikawa runs over and nearly tackles Iwaizumi in a bone-crushing hug.

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi hugs Oikawa back just as tightly, fingers curled in the back of his jersey.

There’s a lot he could say, a rush of what he wants to say. How proud he really is. Just how much he totally, completely loves the man in his arms. What it’s like to watch the most important person to you in the entire world achieve their dreams.

But sometimes, all they’ve needed to say what they want is touch rather than a million words and verbal explanations. So he settles for a simple—

“You played amazing,” he tells Oikawa, resting his hands on his cheeks when they break the tight embrace. “ _You’re amazing_.”

“Thanks!” Oikawa smiles, but it’s quickly overwhelmed with happy tears, like it all hits him at once when the rush of immediate adrenaline cools a little, as he drops his head down against Iwaizumi’s shoulder. The stadium is deafeningly loud, with cheers and applause and screaming under the bright lights, cameras snapping everywhere. But Iwaizumi can hear Oikawa loud and clear next to him. “Feels like I’m invincible.”

That really hammers home just how far they’ve come. How far away in the past struggles from junior high and high school are now. How much they’ve grown up. How much things have changed since then.

Oikawa’s always been so unbelievably bright, a shining star in the sky, someone meant to fly so, so high above everyone else.

And Iwaizumi’s never felt that more than when he’s standing under fluorescent lights in a huge stadium, cameras everywhere, watching a gold medal be placed around Oikawa’s neck.

_When all of your dreams come true…_

_I’m glad I’m the one standing next to you._

* * *

Being back home, in the houses, the town they grew up in has been a nice break from it all. Oikawa likes the newfound attention that accompanies winning a gold medal at the Olympics, and honestly, Iwaizumi isn’t that surprised by that. He deserves every bit of attention he’s getting. 

Somehow, however, he thinks Oikawa is most pleased with his teenaged nephew’s admission that he is in fact, pretty cool. Iwaizumi’s not surprised by that either—it almost feels like they’re still teenagers themselves, having a conversation with a much younger Takeru.

Except…

“Hajime’s still cooler than you, though, Tooru,” Takeru says to Oikawa like the casual blow to his pride is nothing.

Oikawa bristles at the insult. Really, it’s kind of, sort of deserved when he tried to goad Takeru into admitting it. And he shouldn’t be surprised. That’s how Oikawa’s relationship with Takeru has always been. “How could my own blood betray me like this?!”

“It’s not a betrayal if I’ve been saying it for years.” Takeru throws up a peace sign, signaling his exit and heads out to do his own thing. He did say he can only be in the presence of his “cringy” uncle for so long.

“He’s still the same brat,” Oikawa mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. “Doesn’t change even after I got him tickets to the Olympics. Who else could have done that for him?”

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi says, resting a hand on Oikawa’s knee. “I think he’s still a pretty cool kid.”

Oikawa nudges Iwaizumi’s leg with his own, but rests his hand on top of Iwaizumi’s. “You _would_ think that, Iwa-chan.”

“Wanna take a walk?” he asks in response, flipping his palm over so they can entwine their fingers together.

“Yeah.”

**.**

“It’s been so long since we’ve been back,” Oikawa says softly, squeezing Iwaizumi’s arm tightly as they walk.

Both of their mothers had been insisting for a while that they come and visit, Oikawa’s mother in particular very adamant that her son visit home for a while after the Olympics were over.

“I know.” In a way, this feels like the first time they’ve had to breathe since they got back here. There’s been so much happening.

But now, it’s just the two of them.

They’ve barely gotten anywhere when they stop—almost like a magnet drawn here—at the park near their houses, where they’d spent many of their years growing up.

“Still looks the same.” The warmth of Oikawa’s hand leaves Iwaizumi’s as he takes a step toward the otherwise empty playground.

“Yeah.” Other than a few updates, it looks the exact same as when they’d last been here, years ago.

This is where they end up, then. On the swing set at a playground they hadn’t been to since they were teenagers, but that holds a heap of memories of growing up together.

The box in Iwaizumi’s pocket, though small and weightless, suddenly feels heavy as his thoughts wander to it. He’d bought a real ring relatively recently, but probably should have given it to Oikawa long ago. Really, he’s never thought a proposal would be much of a shock. If anything, it was more of a way to make everything official after all this time, and they’d been headed this way for years.

“You should push me.” Oikawa says, voice cutting through the quiet from where he sits on one of the swings.

Iwaizumi laughs at the thought, but jumps down from the swing he’d been standing on and grabs onto the chains of the one Oikawa sits on. “What? You don’t wanna challenge me because you know I swing higher _and_ jump further than you?”

They’d tried this before as kids, but also as teenagers one night, seeing how high they could go, who could jump further. Probably dumb, in hindsight, had they hurt themselves, but in the moment it had been fun—the quiet of the night besides their laughter and trying to goad each other on, the brightness of the stars, the rush of wind in his ears.

That night feels so far away now—years and years ago, Oikawa’s head pressed against Iwaizumi’s shoulder as they sat in the grass, both laughing so hard about something stupid that they couldn’t breathe and they’d only laugh harder every time they looked at each other. It’d been a while before they’d told each other how they felt, but it’d been such an intense truth in his heart, his mind that it was inescapable, something building and building until it was acted on.

Now, they’re here in the very same place. But this time, instead of an ache in his chest when he’d looked at Oikawa’s face and thought about how much he wanted what he could never have, he’s here with something much different. A box in his pocket, a chance to make everything between them officially permanent. 

“You only could jump further than me because you cheated,” Oikawa accuses, turning in the seat of the swing to look at him.

“How the hell do you cheat at swinging?”

“I don’t know, but _you_ obviously figured it out.”

He pushes Oikawa’s back. “Okay, sore loser. Remember that game we’d play when we were kids where we’d twist the swing around with one of us sitting in it and then push it to make it spin as fast as we could?” One time, Oikawa had gotten so dizzy that he tripped over his untied shoelace when he stood up and scraped his knees on the ground. He’d whined about it the rest of the afternoon. “I’m about to try that again.” 

“You wouldn’t!” The laughter doesn’t work well with his feigned disbelief, gives away the charade of being offended by the ‘threat.’

“Oh yes I would. Try me.”

“Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?” Oikawa asks over the creak of said swing set.

“ _God_ , I didn’t dare you to lick the swing set. You asked me if I’d dare you to do it, and I told you not to.”

“Details,” he says, waving his hand back and forth, dismissive to the idea that he’d been the one to suggest something so stupid.

“That’s a pretty big detail to forget. Especially when it was something so stupid.”

“Not really, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa turns his head, shoots him a grin. “Speaking of stupid, remember that time you wanted to try and swing around the bar of the swing set and broke your arm when you tried it and fell, though? I told you not to.”

“You did not! You were the one who helped push me so I got high enough to try it. I thought my mom was going to kill me after that. She probably would have if I hadn’t already gotten a broken arm out of it.”

Another memory hits him suddenly, laughter overcoming him at the thought. “God, remember when I knocked one of your baby teeth out when I cracked you in the face with a volleyball I hit?”

Oikawa shudders, but laughs too. “It was really loose anyway, but there was so much blood. You hit it like a monster even back then. I was traumatized.”

“Yeah, well if you knew how to receive it properly…”

“We were seven!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You got enough apologies for that out of me to last you a lifetime.”

In the rush of laughing about stupid things they had done as kids, there’s another memory, though, from this same place, twenty years ago now, one they’ve left unspoken for the moment. A summer afternoon, when Oikawa had accidentally kicked down the sand castle Iwaizumi had been building in his excitement to run over to him. When he had shoved a tiny plastic ring into Iwaizumi’s hand and asked him to propose to him because that’s what people who wanted to stay together forever did.

“Hey…” Oikawa’s voice cuts through the momentary silence Iwaizumi hadn’t realized had settled between them until Oikawa had said something, the creak of the swing grinding to a halt as he drags his feet on the ground. He stands, turns to face Iwaizumi. “You okay?”

He nods, hand coming to rest on Oikawa’s that had been curled around the chain suspending the swing in the air. “Yeah. Of course.” He wants this, all of this, _everything_ with Oikawa, he thinks, squeezing his hand. God, he wants this so bad.

Oikawa smiles at him, bright, bright as the glowing sunset illuminating the playground. “I first asked you to get married to me right over there.” He gestures toward a few feet away from them, like he’s read Iwaizumi’s mind, knows that he’d been thinking of a memory that feels just like it was yesterday instead of so long ago. He laughs a little. “Look how far we’ve come.”

“Hey, don’t tell the story wrong. You asked me to propose to you, and then said I did it wrong.” He laughs, though, pushes Oikawa’s shoulder with his free hand as he agrees, “That’s how it’s always been, though, right? You and me… it’s always been us.”

They really have come a long way. Twenty-six years together. “Did you ever think we would have ended up here?” he asks.

“If you’re asking me if when we were kids I ever would have thought I’d be back here after winning a gold medal in the Olympics and that we’d fall in love and live together in another country, the answer is no. Too specific of a dream.” Oikawa grins. “I think I’ve always known that wherever I ended up I wanted us to be together, though. And I’ve gotten that.”

“Yeah, me too.” He lets go of Oikawa’s hand that they’d had wrapped around the chain of the swing and steps around it so they’re face-to-face without a barrier between them.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa turns to face him, a flash of confusion in his eyes, like he wonders where this is going. Honestly, Iwaizumi’s surprised he hasn’t figured it out yet. They usually can pinpoint how the other is going to act before it even happens, a skill that took years and years of perfecting, mastering. Something only they know, an ability only they have.

His fingers thread with Oikawa’s when Iwaizumi takes his hand. Every time he’s thought about this moment—and yes, he’s thought of proposing to Oikawa various times over the last few years—there’ve been different ways he’s pictured it: planning meticulously, accompanied with some sort of speech; spur of the moment and improvised. There have been plenty of times he could have asked Oikawa to marry him—casual and spur of the moment or planned out—but something in him has always seemed to know it’s the right decision, the right time to do it here, back in their hometown, at the park right by their childhood homes. The same place they’d done this as kids, in what feels like a million years ago.

In the end, he’s never needed to have some big, meticulous plan for what to do. In the end, his heart has always directed him, and he’s followed it. Followed it here, to where they stand now.

“Since you said I didn’t do it right the first time when we were kids, I figured I should make it up to you now.” And he reaches into his pocket, lowering himself onto one knee. “Tooru, will you—?”

“Yes!” The grip on his hand loosens, and Oikawa tackles him in a suffocating hug before he truly registers that it’s happened.

“Hey, who’s not doing it right now? Let me finish!” Despite the words, he laughs and wraps his arms around Oikawa, cups the back of his head with his free hand and holds him close to alleviate the clench of his chest, the burn behind his eyes at the premature answer.

“Sorry, sorry,” Oikawa sniffles, and he squeezes Iwaizumi one more time before he pulls back from the embrace. He wipes his forearm over his eyes, swiping away tears. “Please continue.”

Iwaizumi laughs, moves his hand that rested on Oikawa’s head to cup his cheek instead. “Tooru, will you marry me?”

“Yes.” The word sounds even more certain, more resolute the second time Oikawa says it. “Yes, Hajime. _Yes_.”

Their hands both tremble as Iwaizumi pulls the gold ring out of the box and slides it onto Oikawa’s finger. But as soon as it’s on, their lips meet in a kiss.

“I love you,” Iwaizumi says when they pull apart after a few moments. Oikawa’s fingers brush over his cheek, wiping at the tears he knows are there, just like they are on Oikawa’s face. “I love you so fucking much, Tooru.”

The smile on Oikawa’s lips is bright, as bright as Iwaizumi’s ever seen it—genuine and real and fucking _perfect_. “I love you too, Hajime.”

This has been such a long time coming—years and years of existing together, side by side, building to this moment, this next step forward, together.

Things change, but this is the best type of change. A new beginning that’s accompanied by overarching familiarity, a continuation of the story—their story—but with a new element added.

Their lives started moving in this trajectory from the get-go, pushed along when they’d first decide to wear those plastic rings as children, and peaking now, when that symbolic promise and everything it’s ever grown into has evolved into Iwaizumi sliding a real ring onto Oikawa’s finger while they kneel on the ground of the park they’d first done this at, in front of the old creaky swing set they’d played on as children.

As kids, they’d had no real way of knowing if that promise—the desire to stay together forever—would ever become anything real in the future. They didn’t know it would take them this far, that something they’d done spur of the moment when they were kids would last so long, grow into more than they ever could have ever imagined.

But now? Well…

That idea—together, forever—has never felt this good, so right.

**.**

**.**

**.**

****

Posted August 10, 2020 at 10:00 PM by oikawa_tooru1

Pictured: Against the backdrop of the setting summer sun, a selfie of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, their cheeks pressed together as they grin at the camera, arms around each other. Oikawa’s wearing his medal around his neck, but also holds up his left hand to face the camera, a gold ring clearly visible on his finger.

Caption: Got more gold at Tokyo 2020 than I ever could have asked for @iwaizumi_hajime <3<3<3

Liked by hanamakitakahiros, matsukawaissei, and 5,000 others

kindaichi_yuutarou CONGRATS!!!

hanamakitakahiros you mean all this time you weren’t already married? Coulda fooled us?? Congrats tho!

matsukawaissei wow about time u two put a ring on it LOL congrats!

iwaizumi_hajime <3


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